I'm feeling a bit dissapointed in my bf.

[SlightlyConfusedAlwaysMad]

I've been seeing someone for a few months and he was recently introduced to dd (7). He's all alone for Christmas so asked if he could come over to mine, I said it was too soon to spend the day with us but he's more than welcome to come in the evening. Spoke to him about 5 and he said he was heading up now, spoke to dd and said see you soon. 30 mins later I get a text saying 'changed my mind will come up tomorrow'. So I then had an upset child which could have been avoided if he just hadn't said anything!

Argh. Sorry not major or serious just annoying

You may well be right cronillansw but I'm not sure what I could have done differently. I wasn't going to change plans that have been in place for a year the week before Christmas because he's plans fell through.

Tbh, saying he was very welcome to go in the evening is not the same as saying you really wanted to see him that day and get out as soon as convenient to spend at least part of the afternoon with him.

Did you only set the time for him to go when you spoke on the phone at 5?

He may well have sensed you were not too bothered about him.
Not saying it's true, but how he perceived it.

From the perspective of someone who spent yesterday alone, I'd like to say that I find some of the comments here about not having any family to spend Christmas with being a 'red flag' hurtful and offensive. As an only child with dead parents I don't have any family. I wish I did. But it is not my fault, nor does it make me 'weird' or incapable of having a normal relationship as some people here seem to be insinuating. Perhaps those of you who are happily surrounded by family at this time of year could extend some empathy for those who aren't rather than making judgey comments.

I was supposed to go to a friend's yesterday but unforeseen circumstances put the kibosh on that. Just because the OP's BF was on his own, and then by evening didn't feel like going round to see someone who blatantly didn't want him there in the day despite knowing he would be alone, doesn't make him some kind of freak!

When i was in early stages of relationship with dh, we did not spend Christmas day together, he was with family, i worked night shift and spent day sleeping/on my own. However, we arranged to see each other in the evening and were both goofily excited , smiley and looking forward to it. What i'm trying to say is we were loved up and wild horses wouldn't have stopped us seeing each other even if only for an hour..even if it was snowing (it was) , he had a few drinks and had to walk a couple of miles (he did), and one of us was knackered ( that was me!). So, taking you dc out of the equation, i can understand you feeling a bit underwhelmed.

The OP did not bail on him. She already had plans for christmas day in place before she even met him. It wasn't her fault that an emergency at work meant his plans fell through.

OP glad to see you seemed to have sorted things out with him. Him not having children probably means he didn't realise that your dd would get upset. It won't do your dd any harm to realise that sometimes things will get cancelled and not happen at the last minute.

Plans for Christmas are not the same as having concert or plane tickets.
They can change.

Still, the OP didn't seem that excited to see him that day and I suspect he was disappointed that she wasn't.

After a day alone he may well have been feeling down and not much in a mood to act Christmasy.