I have been occasionally seeing a bloke from work for the past few months.
That sounds like a long time, but in fact, the occasions have been few and far between. He has kids, I have kids, mine are with me virtually 100%, so I need to plan my nights out.
In this time we have been out precisely 4 times, although there has been a lot of talking on the phone, texting, lunches at work etc.
Nevertheless, I am highly frustrated, and wish to stop my obsession with this man. He can easily go for a week without contacting me, and I feel like I am spending my life in an agony of waiting.
I don't think he's playing me- it is more like he is an absent minded professor who focuses on one thing at a time. He has had some quite significant financial issues to sort out, and during this time I just had the occasional text apologising for him having so much on. When I have been with him he is kind, courteous, funny and good to me. But I can easily have a nice chat one day which feels like we're close, and then I won't hear from him for several days.
What made it worse was that I slept with him for the first time before all the financial stuff kicked off. He has apologised for not being in touch, I find it hard to deal with as my natural tendency is to share stuff when I'm in trouble. His doesn't seem to be the same.
My mind tells me that a) he's not that keen, and b) I would like to be neutral and just see what happens. I'm in no rush- just got out of abusive and difficult relationship, 2,kids, full time job etcetc
The problem is emotionally I just want to be loved! I think about him ALL the time, and I really don't want to. I want to just take it as it comes.
He's gone off with his kids on hols for Xmas, and rang me to say happy Xmas and see you next year.
So PLEASE, I need to stop him taking up all this space in my mind. I want to not think about him any more, and just enjoy Xmas- give me your tips please!