Christmas card dilemma while still married!

[senoritapoojita]

My DH wants a divorce and i have already received the first solicitors letter on 1st of Dec. Although i have not acknowledged his solicitors wish, we are still in talking terms and living in the same house and sleeping in our marital beds together but with children most of the time now because DH stays at work accomodation due to work committments and comes home on friday nights. We have been married for 8 years and have 2 DC's.
My DC's just told me i am getting a Christmas card from DH but it does not read to my wife or friend it is just a plain card about "him serving the meat to Megan" as it read on the front. My DC's are a little confuse but they think it is a trick card (bless them). My question is how shall i react when i open the card tomorrow and if it doesn't read to my wife as it has all the past years?
What shall i do to all the wedding photo's hanging on the walls remind me that i am still a married woman? I have not started ant proceedings or replied to his solicitors what shall i do?

i have bouhgt him his presents as a gift from his DC's we always do get him presents every year even though i got nothing from him for 5 years, not for birthdays or anniversaries or christmas, he says i don't deserve them, well that's (that's another story).

Please help to define my response for my christmas card tomorrow?

merry christams,nadolig llawen. X

I wouldn't react to the card at all. If the DCs mention it, just grit your teeth and say breezily that H has done it differently this year (no explanation needed, and tone of voice will mean they don't see this one small thing as a big deal).

Get through Christmas.

After that, you need to look at separating properly. Do your DCs know you are splitting up? If not, you and H need to work out when/how to tell them. This might best be done when he secures separate accommodation and actually leaves. Having him resident at weekends will not be tenable other than in the very short term whilst you make the more permanent arrangements. I would box up wedding photos and other 'trigger' items when he leaves and put them into the attic.

Or are you still hoping for a reconciliation?

Simply say 'thanks' in his general direction when you open the card and move right along to the next task - opening or handing out another card/present, passing round snacks etc - carefully positioning the offending item so it gets hidden by, and thrown out with, the trash.

Merry Christmas/Feliz Navidad - next year you'll be able to begin establishing new traditions.

Thank you, it was very very hard but got through it ok!
Meanwhile his grandfather who is 83 made it very clear by writting on the card just H's name and boys. Totally ignoring that i live here too and we are still a family!

Heartbroken!

I think you have to accept that you're no longer together - ignoring the solicitor's letter isn't going to make it go away. He's obviously sure about it, having told his grandfather and got legal proceedings going.

It can't help to share a home and bed. Are there no other arrangements you can make, such as one of you moving into a spare room or using the sofa? I'd take down the wedding photos etc and put up something else.

I agree with those who are saying get through Christmas, and then look at separating completely. As dequoisagitil says, ignoring the letter isn't going to make it go away. If your H wants to divorce, then you cannot make him remain married to you just by not acknowledging the letter. You need to see a solicitor as soon as you are able.

Sharing a home with your ex will not work even if he's away Monday - Friday.

Whilst you may think it will be less upheaval for your DC to keep things 'the same', it will actually cause them more confusion in the long run.

:(

That was cruel from his Grandfather.

TBH it sounds like you are better off out of this marriage with a man who treats his wife, and mother of his children ffs, like crap.

Oh OP, this man is horrible and you have had a lucky escape with this opportunity of a divorce!

Acknowledge the letter, pronto! Thank your lucky stars you don't have to see the miserable old git of a grandfather again! If your husband wants the children to see the old boot then he will have to take them himself.

Arrange separate accommodation asap. It sounds as though your husband wants to leave but wants all of his home comforts at the same time. It's time to get yourself a solicitor (don't forget this will come from family funds, so get one that's as expensive as his) and fight him on this matter.

Really, you have told us what he's like (ie vile) and then you seem reluctant to split up. Why? You need to visualise how you will feel when he's gone - close your eyes and do it now. Think of the peace and tranquillity. Think of never having to put up with his petty spiteful behaviour again. It will be lovely, like you are on holiday. Believe me.

Peace and tranquility on christmas day next year is guaranteed! there is no way out from this dreadful situation!
He left today only to be back on friday night till sunday again. my heart is longing for him but my mind is clear of any shadow of doubts. This is happening next year and i need to seek advice and save up every penny i have!