Basically, I need to prepare for the practical side of divorce. The word itself chills me to the bone but we've been sliding towards it for the past 2 years and I can't ignore it. We have a child which complicates matters enormously.
Background: We've been married for 10 years. Both live far from our families and respective countries. He does contract work which is better paid but it does mean we moved a fair bit in the past and uncertainty can be worrying. I don't have a diploma in the field i work in but my experience meant I could get well paid contracts. I gave up work since I had DC so with the current economic climate and a hole in my CV it will be difficult to get back on the job ladder. My husband has fairly recently lost his father after a long and brutal illness. I tried to support him the best I can but with him becoming unpleasant and on some occasions downright scary I am running really low on goodwill. I am the one making friends, maintaining connections to our families, calling, inviting people over. He is ok with it and sometimes makes an effort but generally says he only needs me and DC. He doesn't want me to visit my family and them to visit me. Because of distance it can't be a weekend which is what he is comfortable with. I dread his burst outs every time it happens. We tried Relate counselling at my insistence - it relieved some tension but haven't hugely improved our relationships. I am suffocating and my self esteem has hit the rock bottom. I have a feeling a divorce is going to be nasty but I am not sure how to start preparing for it.