Not sure if anyone can help, or if I just need to write this somewhere to help me be strong but here goes.
I am one of 4 sisters. One I get on with very well and we speak as and when we need /want to and see each other about twice a year as we live at the opposite ends of Britain. One lives overseas and we have a very superficial relationship. She drinks too much and is very difficult at times but is single so I feel should be in some contact as I know she is lonely, although very, very selfish and unreliable.
My 3rd sister also lives overseas. We fell out very badly two years ago over my father's funeral where she took over everything, refused to communicate and then told me the arrangements were none of my business. She is very wealthy (relevant - not jealousy) and has 3 young children. I have always continued to be send presents to her, her husband and children and never miss a birthday or Christmas. Not expensive gifts but carefully chosen and posted. We have had one or two cordial emails in the last year after I initiated direct contact. She occasionally sends my children emailed Amazon vouchers.
In the summer sent presents for children's birthdays and got no reply. Then, after 4 emails over months she finally, rather stroppily said they had sent thank you cards (not expected - they are young) and the gifts had arrived although there were no thank yous at all.
I sent Christmas presents and a birthday present for her and, again, she would not tell me they had arrived or respond to birthday greetings or any contact.
Yesterday my Mum's phone was cut off. She struggles with bills so I phoned BT who helped me sort it out. I texted all sisters to tell them I had sorted it out with BT and they were reopening her account.
This led to a string of angry and abusive texts from this sister. Apparently, my Mum has changed provider, my sister now has Power of Attorney and helps with legal / financial matters. Bill not with BT and she kept saying that the phone was not cut off and to butt out. However, I knew nothing of my sister running everything from overseas and was angry - I wanted my Mum to have a phone for Christmas. I contacted her actual provider, paid the bill and got her reconnected.
My sister's messages included a list if what they are / have helped with. Their money means they can be very generous and, no doubt, they will expect every penny back when my Mum downsizes or dies. They have told her it is loans which is all very well but they are spending her money on legal fees to get lawyers to sort out debts etc when I can do that for nothing.
Not really the point. Anyway, I have been unhappy since I posted the presents and she wouldn't reply, twice now. I am miserable because me trying to help my Mum (for which she was so grateful, once I could speak to her) led to my sister's first contact in weeks and it was nasty.
So, should I just cut my sister off? I think I have made up my mind to really. Her children will probably not miss the little gifts I send and she just makes me angry and sad and tries to make me feel guilty for not having loads of money to help my Mum with.
If you are still reading, you are a saint! Thanks