Divorce.... Who knows the lot?

[cloe2jay]

Just split from DH. Was going to South Africa to see my parents, but will stay there now seeing everything has blown up. There is nobody else involved, what can I do in the divorce line?

it used to be 2 years separation needed before a decree nisi was granted unless the reason for the divorce was adultery or unreasonable behaviour, in that case it can all be done in about 6 mths providing everything is straight forward.. ie no kids involved and a husband who doesnt argue the toss over every minor detail.

The unreasonable behaviour can be something as unproven as 'he didn't show me enough affection' etc

Took me just over a year to divorce my ex dh, and that was due to him playing sillybuggers over the wording!!

You can do it yourself i.e., no solicitors if you agree on all the important things but it is prob best to have a solicitor if you have children or property to sort out.

Good Luck, it can be a lonely time so thinking of you.

If you go down to your local law courts you can pick up all the forms you need free of charge, and leaflets explaining all the steps.

You only have to pay a fee when you actually submit the papers.

Oh, I have got two kids, but it's very helpfull info, thank you.

1. agree with jmum6 - you only have to give a few examples of unreasonable behaviour and the courts then decide that IF it was true, could you carry on living together - you dont have to prove anything
2. go to CAB - free advice
3. you are entitled to 30 mins free session with solictor - they need to have a family law solicitor AND offer legal aid.
4. take copy of all bank accounts and wage slips
5. DONT LEAVE THE FAMILY HOME
6. always try to make any points to the benefit of the children
7. inform your mortgage company so they are aware of the situation in case for some ereason you need to take a break or reduce payments
8. ring up some good friends for support

thats all based on the little info you've given

[hugs]

If u go to a solicitor, use one from www.sfla.co.uk (Resolution) who are very children orientated. All the best family sols are on their panel.

Yes, you will get 30 mins free advice, but at our firm, we are required to put our advice in writing, which means opening a file and doing a client care letter, and we have to charge for all that - check that first.

Good luck.

Can someone just confirm, (as I have a friend in similar situation), if the husband does not agree to the divorce you can cite unreasonable behaviour and the courts then can grant a divorce without having to wait the statutory 2 years. My friend has been told by a solicitor that she would have to remain living with her husband for 2 years before being able to go to court, and her husband has definitely been unreasonable!!!! Also told she would have to pay the legal aid back when she sold house - is this also correct? Sorry to hi-jack

me and dh split after we had only been married 3 weeks!(he left me for someone else when i was in hospital having threatened misscarraige with dd2)anyway,we had to wait 2 years before getting divorced because we hadnt been married long.we couldnt have decree nisi as i was already pg before we got married and they didnt believe that we hadnt bd after the wedding.anyway,i ivorced him on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour and something else (cant remember what!).i couldnt divorce him on the grounds of adultery as he denied it to his solicitors.he kept moving around which made it harder and he refused to sign the papers.anyway,after the divorce came through it was over 2 and half years from us splitting.(and daft me took him back and re-married him!!)

sorry,meant we couldnt have annulment not decree nisi!duh!!

Buffy, is her behaving himself now?

Sorry, I meant "is HE"

{{{WOBBLE BRAIN}}}}}

he has no choice!im not the pushover i was back then.i used to let him walk all over me.no i give as good as i get.think thast comes from me being shoved into being a single mum with 3 kids.i do get worried every now and again that he will get bore and go straying!but ive told him if he does,i WILL cut his knackers off and feed them to the dog!think he believes me aswell!weve been married again now for 5 years.i know its not long compared to some,but when you think our last marraige lasted 3 weeks.....!

Good on you!!!

It's a big thing for me moving back to South Africa, it's going to be darn hard, but ALL my family is out there, so hopefully I'll find my feet rather quick.

God forbid, I will never make an mistake like this again!

as long as you have your family cloe2jay.are they supportive?

Very supportive!! It's the first and only grand kids they have got and I'm the only daughter with two brothers, one older and one younger, but both live very far away.

I will actually stay with them untill things has been sorted, I think. Kids, have only seen them 3 times, but love them as if they see them every week! (DD 1 1/2 and BS 3 1/2) I think Ds will have a litlle bit of a hard time getting used to the fact not seeing Daddy, but he'll have his "oupa" grandad to look out for him.

he'll soon settle into it all.he'll prob ask for his daddy a few times,but it'll be a big distraction for him,so many new things etc.so hopefully he wont take the move too badly.is your ex going to keep in touch?