I really don't know what to do or who to turn to. I feel trapped in an unhappy marriage and can see no way of it getting better or any way out, as we have 3 kids and I now depend on him financially.
Everything was fine until I became a mum 10 years ago, and since then we've hardly had any sex (other than when he wanted to conceive dc2 and dc3), and our relationship has slowly deteriorated over the years. We did go for counselling about 5 years ago, which made things better for a few months, but it didn't last and now he refuses to pay for counselling or to make any effort to improve things between us, so I've just given up. He is quite short-tempered, yells at me if there's nothing to eat or he has no clean clothes to wear, sometimes I feel he only sees me as someone who looks after the kids, cooks and cleans, etc., if I make an effort to look attractive he never even notices. I try to be understanding, as I know he gets quite stressed with his work, but I feel I deserve a bit more respect and he makes me feel so lonely and unloved.
Have tried to look for a job, but not easy with 3 children, and not having worked for 8 years, I apply for part-time jobs but don't even get interviews, but will keep on trying as I know I need some financial independence and it would at least help to give me back a little self-esteem.
I love my children, and always try and put them first, which is why I put up with my husband and his mood swings, as they all love their dad very much and I don't want to be the one to cause them any pain or disruption. Also, I cannot bear to think of the practical and financial implications of splitting up. But yet I also cannot bear the thought of a loveless, sexless marriage for the rest of my life. Any advice? Anyone else had or having a similar experience?