HELP!!!!!!

[Butterfly1712]

I need some help and advice, i don't have family or friends to talk to so i thought i might try here.
I am a soon to be 29 yr old mother of 3 ( 2 boys and a girl)
I have been in a relationship with my partner now for 8 1/2 yrs.
The relationship has had its up and downs as like any normal relationship (i'd be lying if i said it was perfect)
My partner has a bit of a temper and a very nasty mouth.
And to put it bluntly i cant take it anymore.
For the last year (since he asked me to marry him) things havent been right.
At first it was little things that would upset like work or me saying something stupid to him but lately he's got worse. He had a perfectly good job working in investments but decided in august to give it all up and start a valeting business that has since failed as he lost interest in it. He gets annoyed at the kids if their to naoisy in the mornings or if he's trying to watch telly. I cant say anything without getting my head bit off, He stays in bed till what ever time he likes.
I had a situation with him 2 weeks ago Our oldest son is not biologicly his (we got to gether when he was a year old) and the father got in touch with via FB and asked questions about my son and wether he could see him, i told my partner as i thought he should know about the contact and he flipped, i was a slag, a slut, i didnt know how to keep my legs shut. I had no idea where this had come from as i always told him who my sons biological father was.
And then on Friday morning it all came to a head. He had been woken up by the kids and someone had sent him a text asking for money that he owes (he smokes cannabis) and he flipped again but this time violently he grabbed me by the neck told me i was thick, stupid, i didnt have a clue how to bring up kids, i'm useless at sex, he's heard rumours i'm cheating. It went on for about 2 hours and since then i've been treading on egg shells and he's been acting as if everything is fine. i need some serious help please.

Abit of background on him he was put into care from 6, his mum chose men over her kids. when he left care at 17 they didnt support him, he's been smoking cannabis since he was 16. and he has a very short fuse. we're both on our tenacy together and he has already stated that if anyone leaves this house its not going to be him.

I am sorry you are in this situation. Perhaps calling Women's Aid would be a start. If you search on here there is much good advice. Someone will be along shortly with some actual links I'm sure. He is violent and abusive and you and your DCs will be better off without him.

Women's Aid is your starting point. The 24/7 helpline is often oversubscribed but you can locate your nearest branch here www.womensaid.org.uk and give them a call during normal office hours.

I urge you to act on the advice you've been given and report his violence to you on Friday to the police, but if for any reason you do not choose to act on this advice then I implore you to call the police when (not if) he kicks off again and have him removed from your home.

His violence will escalate and he poses a threat not only to you but to your dc, who have no doubt already been adversely affected by his behaviour and, for this reason, any contact he has with them should take place under supervision.

www.womensaid.org.uk

He is abusing you. Call Women's Aid. Please.

You can't stay with him, he's abusive and dangerous.
I understand that you feel sympathy for his background - so do I. But a horrendous background cannot excuse abusive behaviour - it may explain it, but it is not a reason to put up with abuse. You cannot undo the damage his childhood caused and you will end up destroyed if you try.

You can report him to the police and have him removed from the house.