First RL date - getting cold feet

[Celeste63]

Hi ladies, could use some advice. I met a man online about three weeks ago. We have emailed and chatted over skype. We seem to have really hit it off. He comes across as very intelligent, nice, respectful, etc and we have a lot in common. I've seen his picture and he's not great-looking (bit chubby, shaved head which is not my thing) but ok. I've even seen a youtube video of him. By coincidence he lives in the city where my DD is at uni (he mentioned it first) and I'm supposed to meet him for coffee there tomorrow. He's been very forthcoming about himself, given me his real name - I googled him and it checks out with what he told me about his past jobs and so forth. He has written me some really lovely emails, we've flirted a lot and it has been the most fun i've had in ages. Now I'm worried I'Ve let myself get carried away. We've agreed that tomorrow is just coffee with no expectations, but now I'm worried that either we will hate each other and I'll be crushed with disappointment or that he'll be a murderer or pervert. What are the chances it's all a con? Sorry for rambling. Merry Christmas everyone.

It's just coffee.

Go along with the objective of possibly making a new friend. You already get along with each other and it's just a case of judging whether there's any extra spark. All you've got to lose is the price of a biscotti

Enjoy!!

To put your own mind at rest, put in place a "first date" call with a friend. This is where you arrange to call her at a certain time, say a couple of hours into the date, and if you don't call within 15 minutes of the arranged time then she calls you. Make sure this friend also knows where you are planning to go, and let the guy know this arrangement is in place. If the guy is any good they will be completely happy you've done this, and if he does have any untoward thoughts it should make him think at least twice about mordering or raping you - melodramatic I know, but that IS what will be in the back of your mind!

Hopefully you should get a feel of what he's like as a person "in the flesh" after a couple of hours so can reassure your mate that all is OK, and if you have any doubts whatsoever arrange a second call with her for a further couple of hours; you can have a pre-arranged code word you use on the first call that means "I will call you again in 2 hours unless there's a problem".

This also gives you an "out" if you decide you made a mistake & want to end the date early , as she can have an emergency so you need to leave.

Go!, and take the other 2 post sensible advice, because really all you will have lost is some time and had a coffee, OR you might just make a New FRIEND, or there might be sparks flying , the truth is you will never know until you go , only you can decide what is best for you, but I really wish you all the best and appreciate how you are feeling , but remember HE will be just as nervous if not more than you , try to keep and open mind and not take it all too seriously i say it is supposed to be fun and make you feel good after all. Merry Christmas and would love to hear how it goes.

Lordy just realised I may have put you off with my safety suggestion! Please please don't let that have put you off going for this first date - as the others have said you have nothing to lose & possibly a lot to gain even if it's just a good new friend.

I just had my first real date in 15 years about a month ago. I didn't meet him online but was set up by a friend, and we texted and talked on the phone for a couple weeks before meeting. I did have a friend call in place when we met, that's a very sound suggestion!

Anyhow, I was scared but within five minutes of meeting I was as comfortable as can be. We talk every single day at least once but text all day. We've met up four times since. I almost didn't go out with him because I was scared, and my divorce was barely final. I'm so glad I doesn't chicken out. This man is special.

Go!! You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain!

I did internet dating, best thing is not to have all your irons in one fire. In future try to have at least 2 dates lined up at once so it doesn't feel so pressurized for every single one.
Just go and try your best to have fun.

I have met up with 7 different guys I have chatted to online & I have to say they were without exception all really nice. I had weeded out other guys who set off alarm bells eg too sexual, making comments about women, being too full on. Go for it but definitely keep it short but sweet because if your heart is not in it when you meet you will want to make a quick getaway.

Thanks for your support and advice everyone. It went fine, though I was extremely nervous. Don't know if there is a future in this, although we ended up spending 24 hours the entire day together and I didn't want to leave. Even nothing more comes of it, I think I'd now have the guts to date again!

That's great news. Be relaxed about it all. Expect nothing, hope for everything. How lovely that you spent the day together. Keep us posted

He might be perfect. You should go once you've taken personal safety precautions unless he's a doctor in Nottingham - long story, but your post could have been written by a friend, right down to the YouTube video and googling previous jobs, and he turned out to be a pathological liar/fantasist