So it's my birthday on Sunday, Christmas and new year just around the corner and I feel so sad. Husband cheated when I was pregnant with 2dc left us for 7 weeks then came back till dd was 5 weeks old. It has been awful. Absolutely awful and his nastiness is not stopping anytime soon. I absolutely loved him with all of my heart.
I am home alone tonight. My beautiful babies are asleep in bed and I am brooding how happy his new life is with ow whilst I am still bitterly sad trying to pick up the pieces of my life. I hate them both for what they have done to my children and me. I am full of bitterness but i just want them to be unhappy instead of this happy life that they seem to have at the moment. I hate how bit by bit I have been pushed out of the life we created together and now a space is being made for her. It hurts so bad.
When will it feel better? I have planned nice things to do with friends but none of it feels enjoyable. I just want my old life back. I would never ever have him back because of what he has done but I just wish none of it had happened in the first place. Really cannot believe how much of a mess my life is and so very far away from what I ever wanted it to be.
Sorry for my self indulgent post I just run out of ways to pick myself up sometimes!! I just can't wait for life to just happen again as opposed to struggling through every minute, hour and day. Please tell me it gets better and what I can do to get there!!