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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

At a loss what to do

2 replies

10mileJohnny · 12/12/2012 13:07

I have been seeing this wonderful girl over the last 5 months or so.She had already left her marriage before we got together.We have had the best 5 months and we have said we love each other daily and talking about our future together.Recently her teenage daughter finally find out about us and won't have anything to do with her mother her son on the other hand seems ok about it.
She has been awaiting scan results for a medical condition (gallstones) which is frankly scaring her, as her mother died of something similar ( cancer of the gall bladder) a few years ago.On top of that she is missing her mother and not living with her children especially at this time of year.
She went to stay with a friend as things have got stressful for her and I feel lost and confused!
I have assured her by text that I love her and want to be there for her and she has'nt said that we are over and that I have done nothing wrong.
I'm at a loss what to do or think????

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 12/12/2012 13:58

sounds like she has an awful lot of stress going on at the moment, and I very much doubt you have done anything wrong at all.

Let her have a bit of space, keep in regular contact (but not to the point of pestering with constant texts as that will make her feel pressured). Just let her know you are there for her and will continue to be.

HotDAMNlifeisgood · 12/12/2012 14:00

You feel lost and confused because a woman you have been seeing for 5 months has moved. You are panicking that this means you are over, and you are seeking reassurance from her that you have done nothing wrong.

Can you see how incredibly over the top and needy that level of reaction is?

Perhaps it is a very good thing for there to be some distance between the two of you right now. Please take this time to examine why you feel the need to be so utterly wrapped up in another person, and why you look to a romantic partner to provide you with comfort and reassurance. That should come from within you; not from others.

You are no doubt a perfectly lovable and worthwhile person, whether or not you are in a couple relationship. I hope that someday you can come to believe that for yourself. Good luck.

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