If you are married

[BertieBotts]

How old were you when you felt ready for marriage? And how long had you been with your partner?

Just curious

[SweetMingePie]

Been together 16 years, married for 11 of those, got married at 20.

[OrangeLily]

Married at 25 after having been together 6.5 years. Could have been married 1 year in, knew for certain 2 years in.

[Annunziata]

I wanted to get married when I was 17. Had been going out for 3 years. I was sure I was ready, my parents told me I wasn't and to be honest they were right. We got married 2 years later and I was ready then. Still together 22 years later, nearly 23.

[marriedandwreathedinholly]

Got married just before 31. Knew I would marry DH the night I met him and we were both going out with other people. It just hit me and two and a half months later he phoned (when you looked up people's numbers in the phone book because you remembered where they said they worked) me and asked me out. That was nearly 25 years ago and we have been married for 22 years. No doubts whatsoever, ever.

[weegiemum]

I met my dh when I was 18, he was 19.

We got engaged when we were both 23

We married at 24.

I can't decide if I was "ready" or not, but as we're still happily married 18 years later, it seems to have been a good decision.

We didn't live together before we were married (don't know if that is relevant) and our first dc came along after just over 5 years married (we now have 3).

[phlebas]

we were both 24, we'd met 9 months earlier & moved in together after second date when we'd known each other for 3 days then decided to get married a day later. Slightly impulsive

That was 15 years ago - been though graduating, first jobs, buying houses, illness, pregnancy & birth (x lots), bereavement, money problems, four children, disability etc - and we're still mostly going strong :)

[BertieBotts]

Aww these are all lovely stories

[Angelico]

Married within 2 years of meeting, aged 32 (nearly 33). Was no way ready before but then hadn't met the right guy either :)

[BertieBotts]

Okay, I wasn't just curious... DP and I have joked about marriage/"our wedding" and talked seriously about our future loads of times, and I've felt, often, that he's someone I could easily share my life with and absent-mindedly imagined my future containing him. I can't really explain it, it's a weird feeling. But lately he's started talking more seriously about marriage and I'm a bit and feeling "but I'm not ready!" - I feel like I haven't had enough time at being a grown up yet

We're both 24 and have been together just over 2 years but I spent from age 18-21 in an abusive relationship and feel almost like I lost those 3 years and my "real" adulthood started some time after that.

It's not really up for discussion as I'll be ready when I'm ready and he doesn't mind waiting but it just freaked me out slightly that he suddenly does seem ready and I'm not.

I think what's making it even more confusing in my head is that I've accepted two marriage proposals before but those were both me being young and silly and "Hahaha, yes, let's get married, that will be fun/that's what you do in a relationship". I have a 4yo DS from previous relationship too. But this is marriage and it's a big deal and I can't quite believe somebody wants that from me.

[Morloth]

Met when I was 16, started dating at 18, he proposed at 20 and married at 21.

Am now 35 and we are very together.

If you are a not ready, you are not ready.

[Startail]

22 we had been together two years.

We knew we would get married after our first "date", ok it did last all weekend.

[M0naLisa]

Married at 21 he was 25
Had been together a year and 1 week grin]

Been married now 6 years with 3 DS

[M0naLisa]

He proposed after been together 9 weeks and I found out I was pregnant with DS1 2 week later

[CollieEyeOfNewt]

Met when I was 18, he was 19.
DS born when we were 34 & 35.
DD born 37 & 38.
Married at 39 & 40... on our 21st anniversary.

Nowt like making sure!

[AnnieLobeseder]

28, been together 4 years. We would probably have waited longer - we were happy as things were, but I needed a visa!

[differentnameforthis]

Got married at 20. Together for 5 yrs prior. Celebrate 20 next year!

[vladthedisorganised]

Together 6 years before DH proposed, we were both 29.
I think I was ready sooner, but we wanted to be financially stable before we married and weren't before then.
Didn't exactly live together beforehand, didn't exactly not either: DH moved in officially about four months before the wedding, if I remember rightly.

We were married about two years before DD arrived, which was nice. Most girls I worked with at the time were desperate for 'honeymoon babies', which wasn't really for us. Now feels about right to be settled (though I miss the travelling aspect at the mo - having a DC and backpacking on a shoestring doesn't really compute)

[TapirAroundTheChristmasTree]

Married at 24, been together for 4 years prior, dd born 2 yrs after wedding, ds 4 yrs after, and have been married for 17yrs.

[beginnings]

Met when I was 29, married three years to the day after he first asked me out! Very happy - although I'm awake as I've a killer sore throat and he made WAY too much noise leaving for the airport to go on a business trip at 4 am.......not happy right now!

[robino]

Met when I was 16, he was 26 (I know, I know). 2.5 yrs dating, I went off abroad and to uni - we had 4 years on/off relationship. Back together again at 22. Moved in together when I was 23, DD1 aged nearly 30, DD2 at 31, married at 33, DD3 at 33. Now 35 and can't believe we'll be having our sort of/ slightly complicated 20 year anniversary next year!

[AppleOgies]

Starting dating at 18, moved in together at 21, engaged at 28, bought our house at 29, married at 31, DS at 33... Now 35.

We've been together for 17 years, I can't quite believe that I've been with my husband for just under half my entire life.

[FellatioNelson]

I was 20 the first time. I didn't feel ready but I did it anyway. We had been together a very long time and marrying me was his way of trying to cling on to a dying relationship, and I didn't have the courage to walk away and be on my own. It lasted two and half years.

Got married the second time at 26. Very ready, very committed, no regrets. Although if I could turn back the clock I would have liked to have a couple more years to be young, free and single before I met DH2, but life isn't like that.

Been married 20 years.

[DeafLeopard]

Together four years then got married at 26. DS a year later, DD six years after that. Been married 15 years, together 20.

Not sure if I'm ready now as it all sounds too grown up for me as I still feel like I'm 17 on the inside

[selfstirringsmug]

I've been married for 2 months, I am 33. I find the phrase 'ready for marriage' a bit odd, as if it was the inevitable aim in a woman's life and I was just too immature for it earlier! I've never really longed to get married, never fantasised about weddings, and would have been happy to continue in a non-married (non-cohabiting) relationship. But due to various property/immigration etc laws, it seemed appropriate for us at the time. There is no point getting married just because it's the thing to do, you have to be sure that it's the right thing for you, for whatever reason.

When you have a dc from a previous relationship (like I did), I think you do have to think more carefully about it - it changes quite a lot of things, including financial obligations and it's important to get expectations clarified.