Straw poll - does he actually like me?!

[LikeATeenager]

Ok sorry about this but it's been a while since I've been on the dating scene and I need advice!

So after coming out of a long (and shit) marriage earlier this year, a month ago I met someone I liked. He's a friend of a friend and spent the whole night we met talking to me and asked for my number.

The next day he rung and asked me to lunch which I accepted. We got on like a house on fire and he rung me later to invite me round to his that same evening. I went and one thing led to another and we had a lovely evening (and night!)
Exchanged a few texts during the week (but only a handful) and the next fri he invited me to his again. Cooked me dinner and another lovely night.

Again barely any texts from him but we arranged to meet the following weekend. However due to work commitments he had to cancel but we chatted for about an hour and he was very very apologetic and thanked me for my understanding. Also promised to make it up to me next time!

He has his own business and works ridiculously hard - like 14 to 16 hour days. He is always insanely busy. But it always seems to be me texting him first after a 2 or 3 day break and it's annoying. But he has also said that he feels he can talk to me about anything etc and invited me as his 'couple' to a do in a couple of weeks.

However that will be a month since I last saw him and I would like to have more contact or see him before that. I have said as much but the ball is kind of in his court to suggest a date.

I suppose Im just getting fed up of being the one who always initiates contact but when I do he always texts back and invariably rings me later.
So after that long ramble - I suppose what I'm asking is am I deluding myself and hes actually just not that into me?

I'd sort of back off and leave him to initiate things for a while. Then you will have your answer He does like you I should think but I wouldn't chase after him/push him for further dates etc tbh

I hate to say it but it all sounds rather convenient for him. Not bothered enough to stay in touch but handy as the weekend bed-warmer... Casual rather than malicious. Keep the ball in his court rather than initiate any more contact.

Has he been married or with a long term partner before?

No - he is 48 and has never even lived with anyone!! Even with his partner of 7 years - she just came round every weekend. He has said things like he would love to get married and have kids but appreciates he needs to change his workaholic lifestyle for that to happen. He also said that he wasnt really looking forward to Christmas as he just wants a partner to share it with and be in love with - apparently its been 11 years since he felt like that!

OP if he wants that and he's interested then he'll make the effort to contact you and arrange dates. Men are never too busy to chase a woman they like imvho. Look after yourself and keep your options open/consider dating other people would be my advice

I agree. Leave be for a while. If he wants you he will be in touch. Don't stress over it.

I agree with them ^^

I would stop initiating things and wait and see if he comes to you. If he's interested, he'll put the work in, workaholic or not. Although I don't like admitting it, I'm afraid it's true.

I agree too with the others.

I just want to add, this is who he is. Would he be a good match for you anyway? Someone like this is in love with their business/work above all else. It will always take priority over anything else in their life. The 16 hour days aren't going to go away. Not to be an armchair psychiatrist (I am being,though, aren't I? ) but some people who have commitment issues use work to keep their partners at a distance and to avoid emotional intimacy. He sounds like one of those people. And if he's showing such a lack of enthusiasm now, at the beginning, imagine what it would be like two years or twenty years from now. You'd feel like you were the only one making an effort in the relationship.

All of that said, if you're just looking for something casual, he could be the perfect man for that, but he doesn't sound like good relationship material to me. (I was married to a similar guy for 20 years).

Ok thanks ladies - might just delete his number so I cant break!

Sorry I didn't answer your question after pontificating for so long about workaholics ! He probably does like you, but I think you should be turning it round and asking yourself if YOU like how he is, or would you rather find someone who's more available.

Yes - its that scary woman trait of thinking "I could be the one that changes him" whilst in reality it's highly unlikely he will change after 48 years of being a commitment phobe!

I think he likes you but agree with Cogito that you fit nicely into his schedule. Maybe he IS starting to feel a bit lonely in his middle age but he does sound a bit old to change his basic character and habits, which are to work like mad and keep the women in his life in a neat little box that doesn't interfere too much with that.

If you want more you might be disappointed. Maybe see it as an ego boost, getting back into the game, but don't lose your heart? (I know that's difficult)

Deleting his number is an excellent idea :)

good idea to delete his number and just focus on other things for now

Right - it's deleted! So we will see what happens!