Sick of repeating myself to DH

[FutTheShuckUp]

ReGarding his foul hygiene and manners- he very rarely washes his hands after going to the toilet/bin. This morning he was on the phone to a friend whilst having a poo! I heard him flush the toilet whilst still talking then wonder off!
It's a real turn off and our relationship is on its knees as it is. I have discussed it yet it continues. What can i do???

What are the other problems in your relationship?

If you've told him how you feel and he doesn't care, then I guess you have to either A) accept you've married a dirty so-and-so, or B) think about whether you want to stay and argue about this for the rest of your life.

If the relationship is already on it's knees I don't think you can have much influence on his hygiene habits, TBH.

Unfortunately it seems he's not the only one, as some studies suggest.
Including one in the toilets of a research centre on Hygiene!

You can either kick him out for being a Heath risk, or try to indirectly influence him by directing conversations with friends, family or DCs to healthy habits.
A bit passive agressive, I suppose, but it may work better than confronting him.

Apparently only 35% of men wash their hands after using the toilet. Fortunately I am married to one of them.

To be honest, I don't think I could bear living with one of the 65% But some would say I am a bit over-anxious about hand-washing

"I have discussed it yet it continues. What can i do???"

If the relationship is on its knees this sounds like a 'last straw' problem rather than a deal-breaker in isolation. Do you find yourself repeatedly having to ask him to do other things that should be a given? Why is the marriage in such trouble?

I just feel that I have changed a lot, and he hasnt.
He is great with the kids but his rank behaviour will no doubt be mirrored at some point if it continues.
He just never seems to take anything on board

Don't repeat yourself. That just tells him you don't really mean it and will nag on indefinitely as background noise.

Get his attention, tell him once, very clearly, making clear that this is a serious issue and that, if he doesn't adjust his behaviour you will be considering the future of your relationship. He has a choice, to make an effort and save the relationship, or not.

"He just never seems to take anything on board"

That's normal for someone who is self-centred and doesn't think anyone else's opinion matters. When you say you've changed a lot do you mean you've grown apart? Matured at different rates?

Im a hand washing freak, i wash my hands about 20/30 times a day!
I just couldn't live with someone who didn't, and i used to go on at my ex about it. That was when we were first together and he did it.
But if Your not getting on i don't know.

Ex-Dp was the same (though very clean, his unacceptable habits were different) and I realised that I would spend the rest of my LIFE nagging him. Daily. I did not want to feel that angry all the time.

Do you think there's any chance of him changing his ways? He hasn't yet. And if the relationship is already on it's knees, surely he should be in 'listening and finding solutions' mode? Lottiegarbanzo's advice is good - you can only tell him so many times.

OP it's very rare that a man (or woman) can make a radical change to their basic nature, and if you try to enforce one you are heading for disappointment.

I think you only have two choices - accept him the way he is, or leave. Sorry!