How long would you wait...

[frillynat81]

Before you introduced your new bf to your child? My DS is 7. I've been seeing my new bf for around 3 months now.

It depends really. Some people recommend a year, in my situation my BF has a DD of a similar age to my DDs (and we were planning a holiday away together in the summer) so it seemed natural for us all to meet each other quite early on I think it was about 3 months in.

Some people would be aghast at this but its different for everyone. Use your judgement and your mummy spidey senses.

My DS knows all my friends, male as well as female.... same as I know his. I wouldn't hesitate, therefore, to introduce him to a new boyfriend as a friend. However, I would be much more cautious about someone staying the night or the weekend etc. - that gives them special status and the timing for that very much depends on the relationship you have with your DC

5 months on, DS has met new partner, but he doesn't know he's a partner, and he hasn't been in the house during sleepovers.

Mostly because of STBX, frankly, as if it was not for that he'd probably be official by now.

I've never been in this position, but how do people have relationships without any DC over 3 knowing instantly.

My DDs always ask what I'm doing, where I'm going, even if we only met when they were at their Dad's I´d have to tell buckets of lies

A friend from work was how somebody I know put it to her 6 and 4 year olds. Their dad who was already engaged to gf didn't stick his oar in and never badmouthed the new guy. After about 6 months mum started inviting him to tea, arranging nice days out, by the time DCs flaked out they weren't aware of him 'sleeping over' and had breakfast together quite matter of factly.

Things ultimately didn't work out but seeing mum affectionate with another male adult needn't blow their minds, especially if dad is still a constant and there's no attempt at claiming alpha male status and division of loyalties.

Startail, my DS doesn't ask much and I have other male friends whom he has met.
He has sort of cottoned on that partner is a bit special, but he hasn't been too bothered.
For him boyfriends and girlfriends are those who kiss, so we have avoided doing that in front of him.