Have to tell someone, but can't in RL!

[RafaellaNhaKyria]

My divorce was final yesterday. My ex is a controlling, mean person who made me miserable and made me think I was worthless and pathetic, and essentially he was the best I could ever hope for. I am well shot of him!

I've been seeing a new man for about three weeks, and he makes me so happy. He's so much more than I ever thought possible in a man. He's kind, generous, considerate. And he really likes me! Imagine! A gorgeous, successful, smart man who wants little old me warts and all. And he blew my entire marriage-worth of sex out of the water in one night. I know I'm probably rebounding in a big way, but I don't want to miss out on the chance for real happiness, and my god does he make me happy. I feel like a new person.

Can't tell anyone but my very best friend, because this is a tiny village and ex is in law enforcement and could and probably would make my life hell if he knew already. So I'm telling half the women in the UK

Congratulations - on the divorce and the new man.

Have and , I think you deserve them.

I'm going to say 'be out and proud' about your new man and tell people in RL otherwise your ex will still be running your life. Time to draw a line in the sand.

Oh Cogito. I know you're right...still just a little browbeaten, I guess.

Well shake the bugger off and shout your happiness from the roof-tops. Let him froth and stamp all he likes, you don't give a crap. I don't understand the point about him being a police officer btw... is he in the habit of abusing his position to get information?

Hmm, yes, a bit. It's likely that I'd get stopped for "traffic violations" etc, and if he knew his name he'd run it to find out everything he could.

Jesus, that's appalling. Tell everyone how happy you are and report your ex if you suspect for a minute that he is targeting you or your new boyfriend. Enjoy your freedom and your relationship.

Congratulations:) Does he live in the village? In my experience there are no secrets in a small village I expect you have had curtains a-twitching for a while:)

You can't sneak about though, any crap and you just report your ex. Unless yor new fella has something to hide, running his name won't get him anywhere. Don't let him control you, you are free now:)

Congratulations! It won't be a secret for long though, you're going to have to work out a way to face what's coming.

But ... mostly congratulations from me!

so happy for you

for you

Don't let your ex bully you though. Hug your happiness to yourself for a bit longer, but at some point let it start filtering out. No need to make grand announcements.

No, he lives in a town about an hour away. Might have had curtains twitching once or twice though ;)

You're right, I shouldn't hide. Partly I am afraid of what people will think of me dating so soon after the divorce. But really, why should I care?

A friend was in a similar position, ex hubby used his police contacts a lot. Got other cops to do traffic stops, to park across his drive so he could get his car in or out, all sorts of hassle. Complaining to EX's station had no effect, and to his area sergeant, no effect but made things worse, so she complained to the police ombudsman and it stopped very quickly.

Good luck, have fun.

Yes, why should you care ?

There are lots of people who start dating before the fucking marriage is even ended. Enjoy yourself...you deserve it.

Sorry, that came out wrong. I meant that some people start dating before the other partner even realises the marriage has ended.

< gets coat >

I knew what you meant, AF!

it's been a long day

Congrats Rafaella and enjoy your new guy and your new life x feck the ex life's to short to worry about what others think.

Well done Rafe, i'm glad you have found happiness