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Original poster

Urgh. Feel sick. Just seen his ex on facebook :-(

18 replies

CandyAnne · 07/12/2012 14:07

Ever since we got together DP has made his ex wife out to be some kind of hormonal, crazy monster. I know it sounds ridiculous but in my head she resembled some kind of dragged through a hedge backwards psycho. Not an attractive look at all.

Well I've just stumbled across her on Facebook (she's just joined) and she's an actual woman, I mean she's normal looking, infact she's beautiful. She's 13 years older than me but looks younger. God I feel so insecure right now. He was with her for 18 years and I just feel so inadequate and stupid right now.

OP posts:
sarahseashell · 07/12/2012 14:13

why on earth would you feel inadequate or stupid Shock

it doesn't sound like you feel very secure in your relationship or that dp is very nice about his ex which is a bit of a possible alarm bell? not that you can tell much about her from a photograph

why were you stalking her looking her up on facebook anyway Confused
has he been separated from her very long?

Original poster
CandyAnne · 07/12/2012 14:16

I don't know, I suppose deep down I've always wondered what he see's in me - my self esteem is shit. They've been seperated for two years but according to him the relationship was practically over for three years before that.

OP posts:
izzyizin · 07/12/2012 14:17

Of course she's an 'actual woman' - she gave birth to his dc, didn't she?

Could be you're right to believe that you're nothing more than a rebound for him, but at the very least your discovery should serve to make meeting his dm tonight an interesting event.

Btw, any man who claims their ex was some kind of crazy woman should have you running for the hills.

izzyizin · 07/12/2012 14:20

He's 'separated'? The chances are you're just a fill-in until he's either divorced from his dw or reconciles with her.

vintageviolets · 07/12/2012 14:21

Her photo could have been taken at least 15 years ago Grin

EleanorGiftbasket · 07/12/2012 14:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sarahseashell · 07/12/2012 14:26

yes agree with the others - you might question why he was hanging around three years with 'crazy lady' or if that is bullshit
but the main thing here seems to be work on your own self esteem and think about all you have to offer which I'm sure is a lot more than you think

absentmindeddooooodles · 07/12/2012 14:27

i get where ur coming from. i first saw my dps ex on facebook.....after hearing awful things about her...i se she is literally the most beautiful woman i have ever seen ( que insecurities, worrying and manic plucking of eyebrows and dying of hair )
...i dont know what ur relationship is like, but at the end of the day, its you hes with. He left her for a reaon. Wether or not him talking his ex down is something that should raise alarm bells........im not sure. It may be cause for concern, he may just be trying to cement the fact that hes glad he left her, or, she may have been what he says. I know ive said some bad things abou an ex.....but it was the truth. Thats for u to work out i think...but dont feel bad. Looks arnt everything, and ur relationship will be alot better if u have confidence in it......

Original poster
CandyAnne · 07/12/2012 14:27

No I mean actually divorced for two years.

And the meeting with the DM has been called off. She's busy apparently.

OP posts:
A1980 · 07/12/2012 14:28

STOP IT!!!!!!

I got it into my head that my boyfriends ex was some gorgeous girl who he'd rather be with than me. I got very insecure and kept bringing it up..... he got mad at me and I might get the push now because of it.

It'll be a self-fulfilling prophecy if you like him over this.

cestlavielife · 07/12/2012 14:30

people arent mosnters. and they dont look like them. unless you are the dailymail and want to illustrate a point about someone then you chose the photo most likely to make them look like a monster.
so you think, yeh she looks like a crazed hormonal bitch.

but she isnt gonna chose one of those pics for facebook is she?

and probably other people dont think of her as ex does.

MirandaWest · 07/12/2012 14:30

I don't think being separated means the relationship isn't going somewhere - DP and I are both separated from our exes rather than divorced but we are very happy together.

I too have been guilty of Facebook stalking - have to say I am probably better looking Blush

HECTheHallsWithRowsAndFolly · 07/12/2012 14:33

i would be more concerned about him describing her this way.

What do you think he's going to be saying about you if/when your relationship ends?

You can tell a lot about a person by how they describe others...

ThereGoesTheYear · 07/12/2012 14:33

I don't like the combination of him being the sort to make his ex out to be a crazy hormonal monster, and you having low self esteem.

richardsimmonstanktop · 07/12/2012 14:48

In my experience, men who describe their exes as psychos/nutters/bunny boilers fail to realise that they're always the common denominator.

ClippedPhoenix · 07/12/2012 14:55

I wouldn't want to be with a man that bad mouth's the mother of his children to be honest.

LaurieBlueBell · 07/12/2012 15:09

That's exactly how my ex described me to his new partner. She believed him, the fool but she's the one suffering now because he treats her as badly as he did me. Be creful.

On a lighter note nobody puts crap photos on FB. Mine makes me look fab. In real life I'm a wrinkled crone.

LaurieBlueBell · 07/12/2012 15:11

or you could just be careful Grin

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