Learning from past relationships - bit teenage!

[Woodlicence]

In most of my relationships I have a pattern of breaking up and making up with people. In my most recent relationship I didn't feel like I loved him, there wasn't a spark, just friendship. I broke up with him several times over the course of 2 years only to get back together with him. This has happened in several relationships. With hindsight I should have stayed broken up with them the first time and I have had a valid reason for ending it. When I see them again I try and convince myself that I still love them and everything will work out ok. I have done this since I was a teenager I seemed to attract obsessional types who hung around and tried to get back with me and it worked. What is wrong with me? I have wasted lots of time in relationships that I shouldn't have stayed in. I hope I can learn something from experience and make better choices but I can't see the wood for the tree. Any suggestions?

"What is wrong with me?"

Could be you're a romantic optimist. Could be you have low self-esteem and fear being alone. Obsessive types are very flattering to the ego. What's the longest you've gone in your adult life as an independent single person? Do you see being single as a failing?

I think I'll go for Romantic optimist, sounds better than low self esteem!
I don't think I see being single as failing, I don't like being single much though.
I haven't been single for years, though I was quite a lot in my early 20's.
Maybe I should just go for blokes who are not obsessive!

What is it you don't like about being single? And how do you know you don't like it if you haven't tried it recently? :) I think the only way you break the cycle you describe is if you truly embrace independence for a time, stop the desperate search for a boyfriend, appreciate yourself more and build your self-esteem. Once you're truly happy in your skin you'll be able to judge losers for what they really are.

Yeah, that's good advice, think I might try it
Thanks!