Paranoid about husband not fancying me anymore!!

[Bobley]

I am pregnant with our first baby and I am not sure if what I am feeling is normal!!!!...

My husband and I have always had a very strong loving relationship but since I got pregnant (which was planned and took 16 months to achieve) he doesn't want to come anywhere near me!

He doesn't say I look nice and he moans even when I go to cuddle him that my tummy is getting in the way! He is not bothered about feeling the baby kick either.

I know he is excited about having a son and he has been planning the nursery etc but I am really worried that our relationship is never going to be the same.

I have always been thin and I know that is how my husband likes me and I am concerned that I won't be able to shift the baby weight and he won't fancy me ever again!

I am not sure if this is all the hormones running through my body making me feel like this as I have never been an inscure person but I am worried that my husband will never feel the same way about me!!

Any advice will be a great help!!

This all sounds quite normal to me!

You are going through a massive change, of course you will have these kind of doubts. Losing weight after birth - if you are sensible and careful you shouldn't find too hard as you state you are naturally slim anyway.

Your relationship, probably will never be the same as having a baby does that, but changes do not have to be for the worse, you say he is excited, planning etc, these are good signs!

As for his comments etc, well, yes he could be a bit more sensative, have you tried to tell him how these comments make you feel? Maybe show him what you have written in order to let him see that those words affect you.

From here on in IMO communication becomes the most important thing in your relationship and now is a good time to start practicing talking rather than worrying alone!

Good luck with your PG and new baby and congratulations

Men generally don'y fancy their wives when they are pregnant. Mine didn't.

He wasn't really interested in the baby either until she was born. He went throught hte motions appointments ect.. and was fully supportive but deep down i think he was scared. She is now 2 and he adores her to bits. He never had a problem with changing or bathing her at all. He got up in the night with her and is a model father. Ask him how he feels and try to understand that he is on the outside looking in, pregnancy is not a sexy attractive thing really.

It does change your life, your shape and everything else, but it will all be o.k in the end. Especially if you are a strong couple as you say you are. Don't worry too much

There could be any number of reasons why you're feeling like this. Can't relate to a dh not fancying his wife .. my DH said that he definitely fancied me and I've read somewhere that a lot of husbands do find their wives sexy while pregnant. However, I've also read that some husbands don't like to have sex with their partners for fear of hurting the baby. Could this be why your DH doesn't want to come near you? Re hiim not being interested in the baby, I would definitely have a talk to him and explain how you're feeling. He may not realize that hormotions, and therefore emotions are running so high atm.

Talk to him..!!!!! If I ever have any concerns with dh I talk to him about them. Issues I thought we had or he had or I had are cleared up straight away.

Pregnancy is a strange time as you are excited yet also concerned about the future..the birth, the baby,money,relationship,life etc etc. It may be that what vibes you are getting from your dh are not intended at all and he may be completely shocked that you felt this way iykwim.

Dh actually admitted the other day that "men don't always think" esp when it comes to feelings. His comments made me realise that they really are a different species..!!

Good luck with the pregancy and dh xx

it doesn't just happen with first babies bobley. my dp never lost any interest when i was preg with dd, he was still very horny and i was the problem never being in the mood. this time round i'm much hornier but he's half afraid to touch me and terrified of sex. when i confronted him the other night saying he wasn't like this with dd he replied 'well i know more now' ??? a case for not having dads in the delivery room i think!

soory, that wasn't much help, more to illustrate how idiotic men can be and the ridiculous things they say. your not the only one whos got one like that!

Mine was exactly the same - both times! Although the second time he made sure he got some sex in before the birth as he knew about the slight drought afterwards!

He would not feel the baby move or anything. At the time I remember being a bit upset about it. But he is a great dad now. he just doesn't do pregnancy very well!

I fanatsised about being pregnant imagining dh would treat me like a queen and wrap me in cotton wool etc only to find that he really just thought of me as the same me but with a very strange shaped protuberance which got in the way.

he found it impossible to relate the bump to a baby. he explained after the birth that it was a massive shock to hold ds for the first time in his arms because although he 'knew' in theory that we would have a baby he just couldn't 'feel' it. he told me that he felt I had been mentally preparing myself and getting ready for being a parent 9 months and he made the change from non-parent to parent in the space of the second ds was handed to him.

This doesn't sound relevant to you but I suppose I just mean that not all men view pregnancy as something that is mystical and beautiful and bringing you closer together. Some just see it as a funny bump.

def agree with shimmy. whenever i accost my dp about not having enough interest in my bumps he gets cross and says 'you forget i don't feel it the way you do'
he's got a point, we're connected to the babies, and feeling them, in a way they can never share. i think part of it is jealousy TBH

Most blokes don't really know how to react. As it's all happening to you, there's jealousy and a strange feeling of "i don't know what's going on" all going through our heads. It's easier for men to back off than to grasp the situation in both hands and get involved and enjoy it.

Thanks! Its always good to hear from a mans point of view!!