Partners in the Armed Forces

[LoopyLee]

My partner is in the Royal Navy and away from home alot. He joined up after the birth of out first child and I'm expectiing our second in July. While I am supportive of his career choice, I do find life difficult and would love to chat to others in the same situation, who understand the ups and downs of having a partner in the Forces.

Loopylee, my dh is in the marines, has been since before we got together.
We now have 3 children and it is v. hard at times.
Have you got supportive friends and family around you?

Hi Ambercat, thanks for the reply. Both sides of the family try to be as supportive as possible. I have very few close friends and I dont think they really understand. Is your dh away at the moment?

On a course so home at weekends but poss away in may for up to6 mths.
Are you in married quarters?
we were when first married and i found it helpful to be around people in the same situation, just have to watch out for all the bitching that can happen and not get too involved!

No, not in married quarters, r engaged but havent yet set a date!
My dp is on leave 4 easter at the moment which takes some getting used 2, having him around all the time.
Possible 1st posting could be in may to Basra, he's a air engineering technician on lynx helicopters.
How old r ur children? R they old enough to understand when their dad goes away?

ds1 is 6 in 2 weeks
dd 4
ds2 1

the older 2 have been very adaptable so far but as they get older i think it will get harder.
ds1 plays up if his dad is away for a long time, he gets cheeky and trys to get away with more as ithink he sees i don,t have any back up iyswim

How old is your child?

P.s. i know what you mean about having them home! its like having another kid in the house and the mess he makes is unbeleivable, takes us both a while to get used to living together again!

Why r they so messy at home? Yet he can iron a shirt better than me & fold it to size of A4 piece of paper!!!

My ds is 15 months old & the centre of my world. I dont know how I'd cope without him. Am nervous about having 2nd so close together, didnt plan on another for afew years.

My ds is too young to really understand his dad leaving & he was only 2 months old when dad 1st left. I do wonder how he will be when he gets old enough to understand though.

i only had 15mths between ds1 and dd, hard work at first but great now their older,they entertain each other!

am off to bed now as am shattered, supposed to have an early night tonight,whoops!!

chat again soon, am on here most days but tend to lurk more than post, will look out for you. xxx

Thanks for the chat, was just thinking about going off to bed too.

Would like to chat again soon, good to have someone who understands.

Take care xxx

Hi Loopylee

I think it is harder for you as he is in the navy
Mine was army and did not go away much but when he did it was terrible.

Some army wives can be really bitchy, and the husbands play away if you know what i mean. Stick with it and find something to do you enjoy, keep your end of thing better than anyone elses. We had fun at mess doo's and things and quite a social life but it is picking out those you can trust and those you cannot.

Be proud of him and look after him when he is away, send him piccies of the kids and loving letters make his return something to be excited about. Not that i am saying it won't be but it is important to be really close and strong together that way others won't be able to intervene.

I was so inspired by my DH and the things he had done i am really proud of him and proud to have been part of that life. I miss it, although it does not suit everybody. We are here for you

hi loopie

me and jarm are also army wives, I think we have it easier than ui navy gals - least from what I understand from mates with naval husbands u guys have it harder.

as the post below says stand proud, and as bad as this sounds when DH first went away the only way I got thru it was to think what can I get out of it - (for me it was a load of new clothes the tv remote and lots of trips home) but each to his own. also along with focusing on his return date not when he went away.

for the most part it's good being a wife, but yes I find the army wives bitchy and it's a shame really, or they play the rank game - a lot here are good at that, but at the end of the day we're all in the same boat if they go away - least that's how I see it.

do u guys have a coffee pot type thing u could pop along to? they have one here I think it's 75 p for all u can drink coffee and free transport - can't be bad! lol.

where r u based? I think that helps as well where ur based.

Hiya loopy, my hubby is in the navy and we are based in plymouth. My dh has just found out his draft and will be going away in september which im dreading as its been the first time in 5 years. Im worried sick about how our ds who is 18mths will be and also how i will cope in myself and with ds.Theres a site called britishforceswives.co.uk/ that i go on and it is my lifeline when the my hubby is away on course. Everyone like here on mumsnet are very supportive. Where are you based to?

OOOHH Cod will be happy, she likes these threads

bump

You're right Welshy-not got going yet!

Hiya all, been awhile since last logged on so playing catch up on all msg's.

My DP is based down in Yeovil, Somerset, while I live in South Wales, close 2 family and friends. Not yet married so haven't experienced that side of Navy life. Not sure if we would take marrieds or keep things the way they are, what do u guys think?

Checked out the Britishforceswifes website & found it really good, thanks 4 the tip. Have now registered with them and posted a msg on the newbies, might catch up wih u there. :)