has your d/h partner told you are too needed on him ?

[dimps]

I am still trying to move on from a conversation I had last night with my d/h .

we have 3 children under the age of 5. I am a stay at home mum after giving up work after the 2nd.

This comment came out last night after we both had a stressful day and for the first time since our 15month old was born, my dh took the kids to the park for an hour while I packed the suitcase for our Easter holiday.

I was really upset because we have not gone out much for a drink together on our own since our youngest was born.

I was really upset when I asked him did he really mean it and to apologise if he didn't.

he said he did mean it and that he wouldn't, yet he couldn't give examples of what he mean't.

I have been really down all morning and took the kids out for most of the day to day, as I thought he was probably tired yesterday, and let him sleep in ( as I do most Sundays) but he is still unapologitic and we have now crossed words.

He has gone off for the rest of the day

I am not looking for ward to our break over Easter which I was looking forward to for the last 4 months to spend time with him and the kids.

please help should I ignore, or get a job or what !!!!???????????

not sure what you mean dimps - does he mean you rely on him too much?

What has he done?

Yes I think he does think I rely on him.

But I think I do at least 80 % of the child care and domestics at home.

I think I probably do rely on him to help me put the kids to bed when he comes home, 3 nights aweek and at the weekends.

I think he needs more time to him self. He goes to the gym once aweek and goes for drinks with the office maybe once a week.

Maybe weekends he needs more time to himself,

I think I will suggest this

Thanks for your help

He sounds like an arse if you ask me.. okay..you didn't..but he still sounds like an arse.

thanks for being understanding sobernow.

I know He feels he needs time away from me and the children which is ok. but I am finding it differcult to except being called needy I can't understand it.

I don't think it is unreasonable to help with the kids.

The kids need their dad to read stories and take them to the park. My Dad didnt read me stories and I know its a precious time, soon they will be reading their own. They get tired of me, and to be honest I get tired of being on the go all the time to.

I used to have a responsible job before kids and my own money. I love my kids and hubby, but staying at home is no easey option.

No, you are right, it most definitely is not a walk in the park...more liker a walk in the dark with earmuffs on

He needs to start taking responsibility honey!

Did he explain what he means by being needy. There was once a thread on here about how we get the relationships we deserve - in that sometimes we let our partners walk all over us and we start to expect that and they play the macho role. I mean that you need perhaps to look at what you want and need from the relationship and work out someways of getting it. He thinks you are too needy? Work out some ways of being your own person and less reliant on him for company or whatever, find an exercise class or book group and tell him that you think that he is right that things are too intense and that you seem needy and reliant on him for company, so one evening per week (for example and for a start!) you are going out to x and he will have the children. If you start acting as though you are your own person and deserve to be recognised for that and your role as mother and wife is just one part of you, he will have to rethink how he thinks of you...Hope this helps.

thanks sobernow and giglimpopo and yeamam

I have been thinking for a long time about getting back in to my yoga.

I feel better sharing this, I start to doubt my own abilities and have put my self last in many situations which has some sense in what you have suggested.

with children I am a differant person to the independant one 5 years ago.

maybe thats what he sees and not likes. here it goes.

Thanks again