My best friend of 15 years met her boyfriend approx 19 months ago. He moved in with her after two months. He has never taken her out to dinner, the movies or given her flowers. He didn't buy her a valentines present last year or a birthday present either. He verbally abuses her, belittles her in front of other people, drinks excessively, takes drugs, gambles, is a compulsive liar (she knows this) and is generally an arse!! My friend was in the process of building a house when they met and they moved into the house in November. In December she found out that he had been sleeping with someone else for 9 months!!!! He told her that this woman "forced" him and was blackmailing him the whole time. She kicked him out and took him back 2 weeks later. In Feb the other woman (41, married with 4 kids) announced she was pregnant and it was his. He talked her into terminating the pregnancy. My best friend is still with him and is trying to push him into getting married/have a baby as she is desperate for those things. She has actually had an engagement ring made and set a wedding date (he doesn't know about wedding date). She is 33 and he is 28. He is of course all sorry and sucking up and buying her flowers etc etc now but his old behaviour still comes out when he isn't concentrating so hard!! Anyway, the other woman is now harrassing them with phone calls and letters. In the letters the woman says that he told her he didn't love my friend, the sex was bad, she was smothering him and that he was only with her for the house etc etc. The woman also writes that she is going to make him suffer for lying to her and that he can't go back to his normal happy life because her husband left her when he found out. On Friday night she vandalised their new gardens and swimming pool when noone was home. She put a baby boy card in the mailbox with "Murderer" written all over it. The boyfriend is away working at the moment. My friend has had her charged and has taken a violence order out against her. Through all of this my friend maintains that this woman is crazy (which she is a little I think) and actually believes that blackmail story. She is absolutely miserable, does not trust him at all but maintains she loves him. I try to say in a nice, roundabout way to tell him to p*ss off but I don't actually say that. If I was a good friend would I tell her bluntly that he his hopeless and she needs to get rid of him?? I don't want to lose her friendship but I really can't support this relationship. She has asked me to be her bridesmaid at the wedding.