Anyone got a good news story about bring a marriage back from OK to great?

[Rwep]

We've been married 20 years, Dc's now 10 & 12 so not so all consuming in terms of emotional energy as they were when little.

DH and I are good friends, get along, do a decent joint job of caring for the DC. We enjoy each other's company and (occasionally) have fun together, but it's not romantic or particularly loving and there's not much intimacy. We'd never intentionally upset each other but we don't go out of our way to please either. It's OK, nothing awful about it, but not quite how I'd like it to be iyswim.

We've been making more effort to spend time alone together. What else can/should we do? Can it actually make a difference, or is this what we've got?

No-one?

bumping for you as would like to know!

Bump

I think spending time together without any distractions is a great idea. Sometimes you just get swept up in the hurly burly of life don't you, and you forget to spend quality time with those that matter to you.

This Christmas DH and I aren't buying each other presents, instead we are taking the money we would have spent and going out for a lovely meal followed by a night away. Thankfully DGPs are on hand to take DD and DDog. I can't wait, I'm so excited

In August DH and I had no idea how we could move forward. We've had a really rough ride and had basically reached the point where we just continually tore strips off each other. We were utterly miserable but one thing we agreed on was that we still loved each other and wanted to try to make it work.

We agreed to go to Relate and basically try harder. We tried to spend more time together that meant something - lots of sitting side by side watching tv and playing on the net. The Relate was tough at times, it didn't exactly paint either of us in a great light but it helped us realise where the issues lay and gave us constructive advice on how to move forward. Definitely worth us going.

please bear in mind I'm now 20 weeks pregnant I actually cried one evening last week because I was overwhelmed by how much better things are and how happy we are now :)

Thanks the TTC was a significant part of the problem - 2 years 8 months of trying took its toll, along with a house fire. Getting pregnant didn't solve all our problems but has certainly helped us focus on the future!

I recently read a study that said if long-term partners do something exciting together weekly their relationship improves. (Exciting was defined as going skiing/cycling or out to a concert. A movie is not considered exciting /:>)
I think a lot of times we get into a rut, esp now with economy and need to save money. Your xmas idea sounds good.

Also, when children leave home relationships often rebound into early-days passion, but you have a while to wait for that!

We have had an absolutely crap relationship for a lot of our ten years. But there are moments of absolute brilliance. When we are so in tune, so together, we just both know exactly where we need to be.

This week we are all over each other. We have had amazing and I mean tearfully ecstatic sex every night this week. He has received tea and back rubs, I have been spoon fed cottage pie and bought thoughtful little pressies. Nice texts through the day.

Last week I hated him and told his mother I was preparing for life as a single mother!

Nothing like a bit of excitement to keep things interesting.

We've had the worst year of our marriage. Both of us gave up. Constantly rowing and scoring points. It's been hellish. It all came to a head last month and we've started Relate. Both of us are making an effort and we've started going out more without the kids. Communication has improved and our sex life has become amazing again!

I really thought 2013 was the year I'd become a single mum but now I'm feeling positive (and loved up ).