Husband searching the Internet for naked women.

[softhoney]

I've recently had dc4 (8 weeks) and have found out that my dh has been looking at naked girls etc on the Internet again. He knows that it really upsets me and had promised he would stop.

I just feel he has shown me little respect given that I have carried our baby for nine months, had a traumatic birth and coping with the demands of a young baby. So while I've been dealing with tiredness, milky boobs and saggy tummy he has been ogling girls half his age on the Internet. I know that some women do not mind their husbands viewing this stuff, but it upsets me greatly and my husband knows this.

He has a habit of being secretive and although he s a great husband in many ways, I am dismayed that he has been so insensitive and disrespectful when I am at my most vulnerable. I really don't know what to do, he obviously can't stop it (he says he doesn't do it that often?) but I find what he says difficult to believe. I just feel miserable at the thought of him getting off over these women and that I shouldn't have to put up with it. What do you think?

LifeonaCrunchieBar

Baked women? On the beach maybe, but not at this time of year.

lifeonacrunchiebar

You seem to be ignoring the fact that it is the OP's H who is ruining things for her. You can't seriously expect her to ignore such a massive lack of self respect for her?! Going into "survival" mode is just going to make you feel worse OP-address the issue and move on, or not but simply ignoring it is going to do enormous damage to your esteem and your recollection of these precious early days.

By the way what on earth is a "hater"

OP also said the young girls he is looking at aren't much older than her DD1. I find that quite sick and distressing. How long can you ignore that for? Ignore it until the summer when she wants her friends round?

If DD1 is, say, 18, how can it be "sick"?

OP - how old is your DD1?

I'm in the same boat as u, he watches porn and it makes me feel like your feeling! Also have two young children! I feel I can't trust him! Its a horrible feeling,

"He has admitted he even does it at work on his laptop, claiming he just searches for girls in bikinis when he is bored."

He could lose his job for doing this.

He's using company property on the company network.

His Internet useage will be monitored and if someone looks at his logs and sees regular porn use at work he will be in serious trouble.

Accessing images like that can be a sexual harassment issue.

He really is a sleazy gobshite.

"Baked women? On the beach maybe, but not at this time of year."

No, you can get them in a tin as well as fresh.

Our dd is 13. He is not looking at images of young teenagers just girls who are probably 18, 19, 20 plus. Basically hot girls with little or nothing on. I know that when our dd is that age, he would hate men his own age looking at her.

I don't think he does it regular at work and no one has access to his laptop. It isn't that which is upsetting or spoiling my early memories with ds, it is the thought of him ogling hot young women while I cope with the demands and vulnerability of being a new mom again. He is great in all other ways, but this has really hurt.

He is very sorry and remorseful, but this is not the first time and I don't know where to go from here. I can't continue to put up with it as I find it so damaging. I had been feeling great, but my self esteem has been knocked.

20092012, I know that feeling. Some women don't mind, but I do and it's like he's looking elsewhere. We re both 35 and have together since we were 17. E has always adored me and I him. But the image of him searching for naked girls when we have just had a lovely new baby is upsetting.

Softhoney, it doesn't matter whether other people use his laptop at work. For one thing, at some point something will go wrong with it and a technician will know exactly what he's been up to. Regardless of that, if he is on a network then the network manager will know which sites and which pictures he's been looking at.

Unless he's the only computer user in the company then he is likely to end up in trouble. For that reason he needs to be talked to.