am i right think i had a lucky escape long term

[issey6cats]

met someone in person at the weekend off match.com, same age as me lives local, nice guy we got on well, he asked to meet again next day and went well, then the red flags started, i work at tgi fridays so most of my work is at weekends he works monday to thursday night and sees his daughter on friday night, so though we wouldnt have seen much of each other it could have been possible to work something out, got a text off him today saying wont work because of me working at weekends seems fixated with fact its tgis , so if i read this right he wants me there for him all weekend no matter what, but im expected to put up with him working nights all week , am i thinking theres a little control freak lurking there and glad we only had a couple of meets, my ex was a controller who left me last year for a younger model so i dont want to get into that situation again

absolutely.

I expect if you had been available to see him at weekends, he'd have wanted you to spend ALL your time with him to the exclusion of anyone else, and then (as is unfortunately quite a regular occurance with online dating) after a few weeks/months he would have backed off/said it was too much commitment or some such nonsense.

There are a lot of men out there who are single for a reason, online dating is full of them.

Pat yourself on the back though that you spotted his red flags early on :)

thats what i thought fell into that trap with my exH i let him manipulate me so much i didnt recognise myself in the end, have spent the last year finding me again. went to college and got a diploma, got a job quite proud of myself, aint going to give that up, oh and by the way not talking a thirty something here talking mid fifties lol middle aged men are just as bad as kids

I think it's quite easy to get swept along with it all (my Ex was abusive, first signs - with the benefit of hindsight!- were how full on he was right from the beginning) but being over keen, controlling, etc, all bad signs.

well done on going back to college too, good for you!

and it doesn't surprise me about the age btw, I suspect most men never grow up!

Well done