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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Spicing Up The Winter Nights With Rich Hot Chocolate And Thermal Tights!

999 replies

Mouseface · 27/11/2012 21:13

Hello, I'm Mouse Smile

I'm one of the Brave Babes travelling on this fantabulous Bus, on it's journey to the wonderful world of sobriety. Smile

The great thing is, that the people on here are a real mixed bunch. Some are drinking regularly, some aren't. Some are sober and have been for any number of days, some weeks, months and yep, some even for years.

There's no judging pants allowed, no savoury flans either Wink, just lots of unconditional support from many varied sources. Yes, some of us have been here from the start but please don't let that stop you posting, this thread is for EVERYONE and it always has been Smile

If you'd like to have a look back, here are some links. One to the previous thread and one to the very first, and the reason we are all still here.

See you soon,

Mouse xx

PREVIOUS THREAD

FIRST EVER THREAD

OP posts:
aliasjoey · 11/12/2012 22:06

purple he sounds much more promising than Sextoyman. is he divorced? kids? is the farmhouse somewhere prone to flooding?

Fairenuff · 11/12/2012 22:34

Evening all Smile

Good to see the babes rallying round with support and good advice. We call that the Brave Babes SWAT team Grin

dementedma · 11/12/2012 22:54

Did someone call the SWAT team?

All Babes to be armed with soft drinks, chocolate and sweets and dispersed at dropoff points to put themselves between alcohol and babes in need

Penelope5 · 12/12/2012 08:12

Reading and finding great solace here - no wine since Saturday.
I went to AA one time and heard some logic (like don't have the first - that's all you need to do) but could not relate to the depths people had sunk to with alcohol.

I relate to what is being said here - too much wine (600 calories!!) leading to fatigue and weight and less enjoyment of my life and my children. Why do I pick up that glass (and not let it down except to refill it Hmm)
I've tried to moderate and give up before and failed, so I just wont drink today. Thanks so much to you all for sharing, it has helped me.

Previously posted as introuble2

SobaSoma · 12/12/2012 09:18

Yes Ma I called the SWAT team and they were there within seconds :) Consequently I am a hangover-free and joyous babe this morning. LOL at Joey's thinking ahead for Purple. Thinking about you Greyhound and hoping things are better. Have you been to the funeral of your friend yet Venus? Thinking of you too.

Has anyone done the 12 Steps? Have been in and out of AA and not tried it but have a feeling the time might be right. Welcome Penelope you sound a lot like me and it's great to have you on board.

kotinka · 12/12/2012 09:20

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CrushedWithIcicles · 12/12/2012 09:25

Well done Soma on your willpower, am in awe. When I'm on a diet, I lose any ability to say no to biscuits etc. I hope I can be as strong as you when the itch to drink really kicks in.

And Purple I am so jealous...think you have found every woman's fantasy man: tall, good-looking, rugged outdoors type with a farmhouse and puppy swoon (must stop reading Mills & Boons!).

Know what you mean Penelope5, feel a fraud saying alcoholic as I don't have 100+ units a week and no-one is threatening to divorce/leave me...but over the double weekly allowance for a MAN and drinking every night and most important of all, wanting to reduce but being unable to sustain...that's a problem. And I don't want a drink problem Sad

So I'll be (hopefully) a non drinker and, today I will not drink Smile

CrushedWithIcicles · 12/12/2012 09:30

Aww kotinka, I've been there too and I can't explain it...you know you don't want to spoil it but at the same time the big, fat, fuck it button starts flashing and before you know it you're nursing a hangover and hating yourself.

However today is exactly the same as Sunday, you're not drinking, that hasn't changed so don't dwell and don't hate yourself. Just keep on keeping on Thanks treat yourself kindly.

kotinka · 12/12/2012 09:38

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

babyjane1 · 12/12/2012 09:42

Welcome penelope I'm an overweight, , disillusioned 41 year old and I too am trying to kick the wine witch into touch, the best thing to do is just focus on one day at a time, some days you will win, some days maybe not, but these kick ass babes will get you through every emotion you will experience. Well done soba you should feel mega proud today, that wine witch has no chance with the BABE BATTALION fighting her, I feel proud of you and the super babes stand in a virtual circle around you to protect you and care for you x x

venusandmars · 12/12/2012 10:21

icicles one of the differences I notice between dieting and stopping drinking is the different way in which our bodies / minds react.

The way I see it dieting is related to our biological imperative to survive, so when we diet there is a real physical and mental biological drive behind wanting to eat, and it takes time to retain our bodies to get used to smaller amounts of food without thinking there is a risk of starvation. And like a petulant child, it can be quite difficult to find the means of distraction if we haven't planned in advance. And it's always easier if we catch it before a real tantrum sets in.

So here's my 'Chicken Soup for the Alcoholic' - not a schmaltzy collection of words but some real practical advice. Early in the day when your resolve is strong, write a shopping list and go to the shops. Buy a chicken, and some onions, a big can of sweetcorn, and a can of evaporated milk (not condensed milk!!). Also buy some nice crusty bread and some lovely sweet tomatoes. Come home and roast the chicken - or buy one of those ready roast ones. For lunch make your self a wonderful tasty sandwich of roast chicken, crusty bread and sliced tomatoes, adding salt, pepper, olive oil, basil to taste. Make a plan for your favourite way to use the rest of the chicken meat, perhaps a lovely curry, or fajitas, or a chicken and mushroom pie?

Take the left-over chicken bones and boil them with salt / pepper / herbs to make a delicious and nutritious stock. Of course you could just use a stock cube, but then you'd miss out on the lovely sandwich and the possibility of a great curry.

Later in the afternoon, when perhaps your resolve is starting to waver, this is the time for real action. First sit down and have 2 big glasses of water, or 2 cups of tea. Then back to the kitchen. Chop the onion and cook it gently in butter or oil. Add the chicken stock and three-quarters of the tin of sweetcorn and cook for about 10 minutes. Add the evaporated milk. Blend or liquidise. Add the remaining sweetcorn and some finely chopped cooked chicken. And there you are the best ever tasty lovely chicken and sweetcorn soup. You'll feel full and satisfied, and the petulant inner child will have been kept occupied.

But what about the times when you haven't got a chicken to hand to start the distraction process? Well have you got an onion, a stock cube, a tin of tomatoes and a couple of handfuls of lentils? Same routine as before - 2 big glasses of water or mugs of tea beforehand to satisfy your thirst. Fry the onions, add stock, lentils and a tin of tomatoes. Cook for 20 minutes and blend. Tell the petulant child that you'll attend to it once you had your soup. Or maybe that craving will have gone until tomorrow. And you'll have spent less than £1 on a big pan of soup, rather than a fiver on cheap wine.

venusandmars · 12/12/2012 10:26

OK - I missed out a chunk of what I originally wrote so that probably made no sense at all Blush.

2nd paragraph should have read:

The way I see it dieting is related to our biological imperative to survive, so when we diet there is a real physical and mental biological drive behind wanting to eat, and it takes time to retain our bodies to get used to smaller amounts of food without thinking there is a risk of starvation. But our craving for a drink is more like our inner petulant child who is whining and whining "I'm bored, I'm bored, come and play with me." But like a petulant child, that craving CAN be distracted, and it goes away until the next times it's bored. And like a petulant child, it can be quite difficult to find the means of distraction if we haven't planned in advance. And it's always easier if we catch it before a real tantrum sets in.

kotinka · 12/12/2012 10:30

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LeucanTheMopsis · 12/12/2012 10:33

'Ullo.

I've been a bit of a misery this last couple of weeks, so having been steering clear of people. Feel a bit chirpier today though. A big waving hello to everyone.

Haven't caught up, but Kotinka, I was there too - about ten days ago I had a fuck-it-moment and bought a bottle and drank it that night. Only it was... different. It didn't make me tipsy, I didn't get a warm glow, I didn't feel all cosy tucked up by the fire, it was just, just, nothing, almost a bit of a chore, and while I was drinking it I thought 'well, what a waste of money this is'. The whole thing was a bit grim. Didn't have a hangover, but felt even flatter and duller for a few days afterwards. I'm still looking at the bottles in the Co-op, but when I do, I try and relive those ^^ disappointed feelings instead of the party-feelings, and haven't lapsed since. [festive fingers crossed].

kotinka · 12/12/2012 10:40

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CrushedWithIcicles · 12/12/2012 10:44

Wow! Thanks (for excellent pep talk and sorting dinner plans out for tonight!).
Increasingly I'm recognising how petulant my inner child is 'But I want!..., it's not fair' etc.
I have children I wouldn't take this shit from so need to distract in the same way, you're right.
It is a choice to give in, but a really compelling one. I'm really cautious of telling anyone what I'm doing because I feel like I'm at the beginning of a new relationship, it's all shiny and full of good intentions, but soon the shine will pale and I'll be stuck at home, bored with the siren call of 'just one glass...' That's why I've come to this thread and the unconditional support you all offer, I need to remind myself why I'm doing this and keep it present in my mind, everyday, so that I have the strength to distract rather than give in to the Inner Child that never grew up.
And hopefully support others when their 2 year old selves try and wrest control Grin

CrushedWithIcicles · 12/12/2012 10:48

Oh and Grin at evaporated/condensed milk. I have a tin of evaporated milk in the cupboard I bought thinking it was the same and I could make fudge with it.

It's fate I tell ya!

babyjane1 · 12/12/2012 12:57

venus loved your chicken soup theory, funnily enough the week I managed to get through a whole week without wine I made soup everyday, at wine o'clock chopping every piece of veg by hand so it would take longer and my dd's thought it was amazing that there was always fresh soup available and I felt good putting nice clean healthy foods, being nice to my body so thank you for reminding me. Making mars bar cake is also brilliant to provide that sugar fix. I ended up having wine last night and did not cleanse tone and moisturise as I'd promised but today I will not drink. Need stories of how life will change if I can kick this bottle a night habit, please feel free to show off how good it feels successful babes x x x

helpyourself · 12/12/2012 13:09

Fantastic chicken soup programme, Venus! Practical and indulgent in the right way.
I still can't eat- operation under local anaesthetic on Friday. I'm utterly bored off it all now.

helpyourself · 12/12/2012 13:10

Lovely to catch up with everyone, but where's mouse?

aliasjoey · 12/12/2012 13:34

I had a dream (both in the Martin Luther king sense and an actual dream)

I thought we should have our own day, once a year, like ash Wednesday is for quitting smoking. we`d call it Geralds day, or Board The Bus, or something. it might help kick start some people into abstaining or cutting down. for people who are already there, it would be reminder of how far they've come. it would be a day of love... we'd all meet up in a posh hotel and dance the night away.

I'd obviously been thinking about it too much, because I ended up having an actual dream! in my dream, invitations were from 3pm to 3am (as some guys would want tea and cakes, and others would prefer mocktails).

I was put in charge of toilets. Hmm ?! what, I was once in charge of songs and opal fruits and now I've been demoted to toilet monitor? I don't think so.

anyway, thought I would share that with you...

WineyAunt · 12/12/2012 13:38

Sorry to jump in but I really need help, I am a bottle of wine a night drinker but on Monday morning decided I wanted to stop!! I have not had a drink since but am worried about night sweats and my eyes feel heavyHmm can someone tell me if this is normal??
Have watched this thread since day one and am ashamed its taken till now to tryAngry.
T.I.A

babyjane1 · 12/12/2012 13:58

Big hugs to help hope your better soon x x x

babyjane1 · 12/12/2012 14:34

Hi aunt I stopped for a week a few weeks ago and got exactly the same symptoms, everyone said I looked awful!!!! HOWEVER this only lasted for about 4 days then by day 7 I felt amazing so stay strong, welcome aboard and well done so far, your doing brilliant, every day is a victory and those sweats are all the toxins coming out so that's amazing, take vitamin b complex if you can get it and drinks loads of water and use all the wine time and money to look after yourself, new lipstick, scented candles!! Just keep talking to all the fab babes and you will be a new woman soon x x x

dementedma · 12/12/2012 15:04

well done winey
keep at it. you will feel much better soon