Bloody counsellors

[lovemenot]

So, I have rang several different counsellors and expressed my thoughts about the possibility of EA. Not one will agree to individual counselling at first. And even though I have suggested that he would control the sessions to my detriment, they all think I am over-reacting. In fact, one told me today that unless my life was in danger........

Anyway, have an appointment with Women's Aid for later in the week and will decide how to proceed after that.

That's shit. How have you source the counsellors? Couples counselling with an abusive partner is well known to be a horribly bad idea.

Am not in UK, so have been searching online and looking for appropriate qualifications.

Problem is, they are now making me doubt myself and wonder if I am over-reacting.

To be honest I think the sub-text to these disappointing discussions is "Oh it all sounds a little difficult, I don't need it".

Stick to Women's Aid, they will probably be able to recommend someone.

olgaga you may have a point. FW is being on good behaviour right now so it's easy to forget how horrible it is when it's bad.

Hope it goes well with your WA appointment, let us know.

Are you looking for a counsellor to confirm that you are in an emotionally abusive (EA) relationship as a way to legitimise your feelings or to justify leaving the marriage? Or are you looking for one to help you address some other problem?

My view is that if it's horrible when it's bad, then it's bad enough to leave. You don't need anyone else to agree with you. Your opinion is totally adequate. Good luck

So when you ring these counsellors, are you asking for individual or couples' counselling?

Hi OP, if you are asking counsellors to see you for individual therapy to discuss potential emotional abuse issues, and then to work with you and your partner when you have prepared the ground, then no counsellor will take this on, as it would not be ethical. Please consider seeking individual counselling for yourself at this stage. You can find a couple counsellor later, if you decide you are not in an emotionally abusive relationship. If it is an emotionally abusive relationship, then couple counselling is more likely to hinder than help. Good luck.