How do you let go of someone you love?

[FlaminSnowball]

I'll be as brief as possible. I've been in a relationship with my Boyfriend for 2 years. I truly love him and still feel head over heels for him. Unfortunately it seems he doesn't feel the same way he uses to. I just can't seem to accept it and let go of him though.

I know if his heart isn't in it anymore Hes not the right one for me but I really can't seem to move forward. All I want is him. For me he was everything I could ever want. I just feel broken. I'd it wasn't for my DS I don't think I'd want to wake up tomorrow.

Please help me to deal with this!

I've no advice I'm afraid, apart from it gets easier...
It's been nearly a year for me with no contact whatsoever. It's a bit like mourning, feels like he's died. But like I said, it gets easier and you will think of him less times per day every day... Although he's still the first thing that enters my head everyday. Annoying more than anything!

I'd be interested in some advice too so marking my place.

I should also add that he is still kind of in my life. But it's almost like he turns up for sex - which is still amazing. And he will do bits and pieces for me. I tried to ride this out for a bit to see if it would improve but it hasn't. It seems he won't tell me he doesn't want a future with me anymore but is putting minimal effort in to get sex until I get fed up with getting hardly any contact of time from him. It's making it harder for me to walk away because he's not going to be the one to Finnish it but he's doing everything in his power to destroy it. He knows how I feel about him. I'd rather he just told me straight and then refused contact with me. But it's like he feels guilty.

He sounds exactly like the guy I was involved with. I think you need to break all contact tbh. It's one of the hardest things to do but in the long run (very long run), you'll be far better off.
I want to tell you you deserve better but you know this.

For me the only way is to completely cut off from them. Grieve for weeks/months which is horrible. Eventually you'll get to the point where your ready to pick to yourself up and become involved in your life again.

Their is no easy way, it hurts like hell but it does get better with time!

How do I stick with it though? I just cave in so easy to him! I'm not strong enough.

First things first. Delete him from FB and block him (assuming you are on FB)
This will stop you checking up on him (which I did a lot, shamelessly)

Luckily he's not on FB. How do I deal with it of he contacts me? Which I'm sure he will?

Well I text him exactly what I thought of him, although avoided swearing and ranting so I didn't appear completely crazy. He got the message after that and I haven't heard from him since. You could try that...?

Change your number and your email address.

You're not in a relationship with this guy, you're just a booty call to him.

Having been there in the past and felt utterly broken, this is the advice I would give.

Stop sleeping with him. The relationship is over, you are just giving him permission to shag you until he meets someone else.

DON'T call/text/email him.

If he texts you, only reply if the text needs a reply ie a question. The reply needs to be pleasant but cool- no flirting, no "can we meet up" or "I miss you", definitely no xxx's

Rely on your friends-bore them to death if you need to, they will talk sense into you.

This is the really hard bit...stop fantasising that he will change his mind and realise you are his one true love. He won't. The key is to come out of this with dignity and pride. It is possible, and you will love again. Honestly, you will.

Oh, and be prepared that if you cool off he may become keen again. It is false, as soon as you make yourself available again, he will cool off again. It may not be deliberate on his part, he may just be indecisive , but it will screw with your head.

Thank you so much for your replies. Im terrified about it and I just feel so pathetic!

I'm going to be quite blunt here, having been there and come out the other side.

How do you let go of someone you love?

Step 1: stop shagging him. I know it's extremely hard but you just have to go cold turkey. You'll never, ever let go otherwise.

Step 2: get rid of every item of his that may be in your space. Otherwise it will hold you back from moving on.

Step 3: have no further contact, either in person, by e-mail, phone, texting, whatever.

Step 4: if you need to arrange a final pick-up of his stuff, do so by text, and leave it outside your door with a note.

I'm just passing on what I did, it worked a treat. Finally my former addiction is out of my head and in my past.

Good luck, and be strong. You can do it.

Your not pathetic, just human. It's really hard but you will get over him.

I am sorry you already know this, but...

He is being a real nasty bastard taking advantage of you when you are in such a weak emotional state. I would go as far to say that it is cruel.

If you allow this to go on, you really do run the risk of becoming resentful and bitter about it in the future.

I know it's very painful and physically hurts, but I agree with the others, that you must COMPLETELY cut him off. It will be very hard for you in the short term, but sadly there is no other way.

Remember one day at a time, and aren't you lucky that you have a DS that I am sure will help you divert your attention in to some wonderful things.

Dwell on the down sides. There must be some, but you have probably been minimising them as you want to think he is perfect.
For me the two things I used to think about a lot was the fact that he turned up in stained keks on one occasion and on another occasion made a face like a dying fish while he was cumming. Oh and the jacket with the brass buttons. I actually was infatuated with this guy at one point!
I'm sure if you spend some time thinking, you'll remember a few equivalent incidents.