Boyfriend obsessed with the idea of breaking up after Christmas

[Mawashigeri]

A couple of months ago my boyfriend and I were out drinking and he said "I know your gameplan". I was like "what??" and he said "you're going to dump me after Christmas" I said "what are you on about???" and he said "I know that's what you're planning, I can tell" - anyway he made out he was joking and I forgot about it.

A few weeks later he said "You'll want rid of me before New Year anyway". Again we went back and forth on it and I let it go.

A few weeks later "I'd love to do that next year but you'll have dumped me by then, you won't want me after Christmas". ?????????

And then last week he said "you know, some people specifically go out and look for a partner just for Christmas and then dump them again afterwards".

So

Is he

a) Worried that I'm using him for Christmas? (no idea why he'd think that!)
b) planning on dumping ME after Christmas?

I'd dump him before tea time, let alone christmas. Partners are supposed to enhane your life, not be this much hard bloody work before you have even known them 5 minutes. Tell him to take his baggage elsewhere. Now.

This man will wear you down. Similar happened to me. He kept telling me I was about to dump him or I was going to move abroad and leave him. I once suggested getting a dog and he said it would be used as an excuse so I couldn't see him as much. In the end...he dumped me.
You can't reassure him that you won't leave him because it sounds like he has made his mind up anyway.
I'd get out now. This will not improve.

Just get shut of him now...he sounds like a twat

It's difficult to guess his motives. Any of the above could be right.
But my advice is the same. Leave him.

Come on, if someone suggested flippantly that you buy them a £200k sports car, you would surely know they were joking!

I'm liking the projection idea - I reckon that might be what's going on here. He's planning on doing it so makes out that it's ME planning on doing it to him.

I agree - he is trying to annoy you so much you dump him after Christmas.

Therefore on Christmas day, propose.
He will tinselly shit himself.

Pretend you mean it at the time and watch him disappear off the planet or dump you for being too pushy and needy after New Year.

Research some online dating sites and draft your profile now.

I reckon he is going to dump you after Xmas but will claim he 'had to' because you were going to dump him. He's too weird OP.

Hes 40 and acting like this...seriously, get rid asap. The longer you are with him the more weirdness you will uncover. Run for the hills!

I am sorry to say it, but I am pretty sure you are getting dumped.

I don't think you should do a 'preemptive dump', though. He's being a coward and hoping you will do just that. I'd be too pissed off to let him have it. I'd hang in until after Christmas and then just never ring him again. Maybe torture him a bit between now and then with comments about how much he is going to looooooove the very expensive, OTT gift which you could not resist buying for him as you just looooooooove him so much. Then give him a pen.

(yeah, i know - game playing is bad. Maybe just drop him now.)

dump. buy yourself the onesie.

Fucking onsie, what happened to silk knickers for the first two years of marriage, onsies are for your 40th anniversary.

Dump dump dump.
he's far too much like hard work op.
like the joke about the car though

No - I think he has something planned for after Xmas that you wont like - so he is building up to this..."said you would dump me" in which case he expects you to be all of a fluster - "no I promised I wouldn't"'......and put up with whatever said thing is. Please disappoint him!

40 yo men should behave more maturely than this. If they do not, well that is a sign in itself.

It wouldn't be a 'preemptive dump' though. The sensible course of action is just to dump him because he's more hassle than it could possibly be worth. Think about how much more fun Christmas will be without him.

Yep - and you save on the cost of a pressie.

Oh dear get rid. What a twunt.

Give yourself freedom for Christmas, with added chance to snog someone new (and far less weird) under the mistletoe

i agree with brdgrl, I think he wants to dump you, but cant bear being the dumper and is using this whole bizarre christmas idea to wind you up so you will dump him. I would also be tempted to ham it up and propose on christmas day but then yeah, gameplaying is bad so...just dump him now!

The next time he makes one of these remarks just say: "No I am not going to dump you after Christmas - I'm doing it now! So get out and grow the fuck up. Goodbye"