Making me look stupid

[dextersgirl]

My boyfriend has this habit of trying to patronise me and make me look stupid in front of other people, Ive just brought it up with him and told him how I feel and he now says life will be boring if I cant even have a laugh and that I take everything the wrong way. Examples of his behaviour are as follows:

1. (stood at tesco deli counter) me - what do you want? him - pastie, how about you? me - think I might just get a sausage roll.... him "well tell the lady then..."(said in very patronising, talking to a 4 year old manner) [anger]

2. (stood talking to a bloke) me - oh, I forgot to put the new tax disc in the car! him - just do it tomorow, its on the drive... me - so it wont matter for tonight then? him - yeah! they're going to come up your drive and search for out of date tax disc!! (starts laughing to bloke) [anger]

cant think of any more exampes right now but there are loads of them! so, would you laugh or am I right to get pissed off?

oops I put anger instead of angry on my icons lol! its late...!

Probably a phase he is going through. Tell him to button it and refuse to speak until he is polite.

no i wouldn't laugh if it was me in your position.
there's having a laugh and being able to join in, then there's having a laugh at other people's expense which seems to be what he's doing. he does also seem to be immature, insecure and btw, how would he feel if you did that to him with ypur friends whilst he was standing there? (not that i'm advocating tit-for-tat, but when my dp treated me like that, the only thing that worked with him was to treat him the same way. guess what? he didn't like it. he doesn't do it anymore. it might be bit harsh but sometimes it works.

hth and good luck. let me know how you get on if you want to. fm x

He sounds like me

i'd get pissed off it it happened all the time

Be 'jokey' with him in front of whoever it is he is trying to impress by putting you down.

ie smile at his mate, and say "Bless him, he's over tired. That's why he's being such a tit, just ignore him and he'll stop. (to your dp) Early beddybyes for you!"

dextersgirl, is it that time of the month..is it now..is it?

Sorry, that is very annoying...but I think he's just trying to be funny. There's nothing nasty in any of it.

lol

Or, "Ah, bless, no don't laugh, it's not easy for him, being this dim!"

dh says you shouldn't ask such stoopid questions (re tax disc) in the first place.

dh says you shouldn't ask such stoopid questions (re tax disc) in the first place.

Shall I give him a slap from you as well?

It's not nice to be on the receiving end of this kind of behaviour is it?

My dp tried this when his family came over for holiday, he would ask me a question and then make fun of whatever I said.
So next time he asked me my opionion on where we should go out to do touristy things (a question he had previously asked me and laughed at my answers to), I looked him in the eye and said 'Why ask me when the only thing you do is make fun of my suggestions, you know better than me what you'll find fun and stimulating, and I do not appreciate being asked a question and then being put down for the perfectly sensible answer I have put forwards....' He was embarrassed and so were his family, well good, it never happened again.. But then I don't often get annoyed.

monkeytrousers, it's not nice for her bf to treat her like that. how would you feel if someone did that to you? it's obviously not funny for her to be on the receiving end is it?

Well, no if it was nasty. I've been guilty of being a bit oversensitive in the past that's all, so that's my suggestion. It pays well to choose your battles that's all, and it doesn't seem, on the surface, that this is a big deal. Some people like to banter - what DG seems to be describing is banter - men like to do it with each other as well. I've learnt to banter back and it is fun - not being so defensive is fun too!

i dont think it sounds like he is being horrid just his sense of humour

it does sound nasty from reading her posts and i've been on the receiving end myself so i know what it feels like. i'm glad that you haven't though because it can affect your self-esteem and that is not nice. my advice is that if it does make you feel this way, then it isn't right for him to treat you this way and to make you feel like this

I have been on the receiving end Fransmum, from a previous (and not so D) P. He was a nasty person though. If someones generally nice they're probably just trying to be funny and failing. If they're nasty, well they're nasty. Is he nasty Dextersgirl?

Can't really say on this one. You've only given us 2 examples and I wouldn't really say they were nasty. If dh said either of these to me I'd probably tell him to feck off, in a jokey way of course!

But if he is making you feel bad all the time, then he has no respect for you. Only you know how you are feeling about this, it doesn't matter if we say whether those 2 examples are nasty or not, what matters is how you feel. And that he is not taking your feelings into consideration, otherwise he would have apologised when you told him.

If he doesn't show you a little respect then give him his marching orders, as he's unlikely to change now.

Ex h was like this, only did it to bolster is very low self esteem, but of course it was just another reason why he is now my ex!

i'm sorry monkeytrousers, i didn't mean to upset you

No worries Fransmom, you haven't upset me. I have a very thick skin, and put myself in the front line on a lot of issues . I like the cut and thrust, as it were.

Why have you started a new thread DG?