My Dh and I are on a trial separation. We have a two DDs, 4yrs and 3 months. Even through my recent pregnancy I knew our marriage wouldn't last (too complicated to explain) and to make it worse I was totally in love with a colleague and have been for over a year. Nothing happened between me and my colleague (let's call him Ben) as we only ever saw each other at work and I was pregnant. (He was single). But because of my feelings for Ben I did rush into separating from my husband as soon as baby was born (not that Ben or H knew this was the reason.) Ben gave signs that he wanted to be with me, regardless of the fact that i had children. It was only very recently that something happened between us and now he seems slightly scared about it all. Whereas he'd been hinting he'd be with me whenever/wherever, he's now worried that I've split my marriage coz of him and that he's now adding/causing me even more stress to deal with. We live two hours apart so can't even easily see eachother and he's now suggesting that he wouldn't uproot his life for me but he does want to keep seeing me, we just have no idea where it's going. He said he honestly never thought anything would happen between us and now it has I think he's so overwhelmed. I'm totally in love with him, but it's now causing me sleepless nights worrying about it all. The thought of stopping it all to prevent getting even more hurt makes me feel numb. but then I hate this unkown! After seeing ben at the weekend (again, H completely unaware about this!) I was so sad leaving him that I asked H to stay over and we then had sex. Now H is getting the wrong message from me and it's all so complicated. There's far more to this than I can possible say, but I just don't know how to cope with it all. I can't sleep or eat properly and my childtren are so young they need to be healthy, not depressed. Not sure what I can do?! Please help.