Sexual abuse

[KellyEllyChristmasBelly]

Should have name changed for this but on BB so can't. Watching this Jimmy Saville progeamme and am feeling so upset. I thought I was over all this stuff that happened to me (not saville related btw some other bastard) but seems like I haven't moved on after all these years. Their abuse makes me feel mine. Need some support x

Is noone out there. Feeling really low.

I'm sorry this happened to you Kelly. I have no words of wisdom as I'm going through similar myself, but I can be here until others come and help.

I'm afraid I feel really unqualified to offer any advice but I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for what you have experienced, I believe you, and I hope someone comes along soon who can offer some more practical advice. Big hugs.

Oh I'm so sorry. Do you have anyone who you can talk through your thoughts and emotions with?

Like quiet I'll be here until someone else comes along.

Thank u for answering. Is just good that u did. I've spent a lot of years being very ill from it and now a lot of years being really strong. I am having a major wobble watching this. I don't know why I am watching it. I thought I could now but its made me feel ill again and I thought I'd left all that behind me. Just a bit shocked by myself really as I thought I was stronger but I'm obviously not.

Sorry u are going through bad times yourself its

Everyone needs support sometimes.

^ apologies if that sounds patronising, I just mean that it's ok to not be strong all the time.

Unfortunately I'm a lone parent so no partner. Have friends but all who work with young children so far too late to call them. Just your responses have been comforting. Sometimes u don't want to talk to people u know in RL as u feel ashamed that u haven't moved on by now.

Have you thought about calling the Samaritans? They'll have someone available to talk to you, or you could send an email if you don't feel like talking on the phone.

Number 08457 90 90 90

Email [email protected]

And please don't feel ashamed that you haven't moved on by now. It wasn't your fault.

have you had any counselling, or talked to anyone about what happened? have you thought about going to the police?

and to echo mac, don't berate yourself for not having 'got over it'. It wasn't your fault, you were an innocent victim and you should not punish yourself with guilt over your reaction to it. I think you are incredibly brave to come through it and to have the courage to talk about it here. And by talking about it you are showing your strength, not weakness.

Thank u for being so kind. I'm going to go to bed and cuddle my DD (we share a room and bed) and try to sleep and wake up my ususal strong self tomorrow. If I can't sleep and feel like this later I will call the samaritans. They have helped me through many dark times. I thought those were behind me but u can't help what brings it up I guess. Thank u :)

Well said mousse

Night Kelly hope you have a peaceful one.

Take care Kelly xxx

Kelly I'm so sorry for what you have experienced.
Stuff like this is the media can be an awful trigger. I hope you are getting some rest.
Please feel free to PM me if you are struggling with this stuff. There's nothing worse that feeling alone with it.

So sorry. My counsellor saiid that counselling agencies have been overwhelmed since savile so you are not alone xx

FarelyKnuts thanks. I did go to sleep. Thank god I had my little monkey to snuggle up to. Made me feel much more peaceful. Feeling better today. Need to not watch that stuff on TV as is too much of a trigger. Caught me a bit unawares as I haven't felt low like that for years - since I was quite ill from it. I think that makes me panic as well as I'm scared I'll go back to being as depressed and ill as I was then. I'm just glad today is a better day. Thanks for all your support everyone

Hi Kelly, I am glad you got some rest.

I am feeling similar, I think for me it is all the things coming to light about how many people were complicit, and just didn't care enough to compromise themselves to save these girls... I wasn't protected by the person who should have protected me, instead she left me with someone who was abusive and who abused me, so it is really triggering those feelings in me at the moment.

I don't know that we ever move on, i think we just have to try and accept it and carry on, how are you feeling now? Is there anyone you can call on tonight for a bit of a chat and someone around? Do you have family you can ask to help out?

antsypants I'm feeling ok now. I'm at work and its a fairly busy day which is keeping me occupied. I'll call one of my friends for a chat tonight - couldn't last night as it was so late. I tend to speak to my friends about it more so than my family. I don't speak to my mother any more as she was never supportive over this. I have a nice weekend planned doing stuff with DD and a family party so will be around people and doing fun stuff which is what I need.

I hope you are ok. It's good to have MN as sometimes everyone just needs a bit of support. I get a bit worried I'm being an emotional drain on people I know as I have had a couple of bad years with one thing and another so I probably tend to not call on people unless I really have to as I feel I'm always the person with some drama in my life.

Kelly Im glad you got some rest.

Sometimes as survivors we tend to think in absolute black and white so a setback can set off panic about being like we were before (ie PTSD). Try not to get too disheartened about it. You aren't slipping, you had an understandable reaction to a distressing situation.
I hope you enjoy your weekend with your DD :)

sending love and strength your way too xxxx