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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feelings for a friend!

2 replies

ShogDite · 17/11/2012 09:37

I've had a really good male friend for 14 years. We have both recently become single after being in and out of other relationships for years. We have often talked a lot and both know that we're still not over our exes. But I find myself being attracted to him, when I wasn't really before! Is this a knee-jerk reaction to becoming single, and I'm just leaning on the first good man who's nice to me? We can't possibly rebound together, it'd be a disaster and our friendship would be over. But what if there's some potential there that I'd never known. I'm in no rush to snag a new man, but he could find someone else first, or I could, and then we'll never know what might have been. What would you do?

OP posts:
DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 17/11/2012 20:36

Honestly? I would leave it. A 14 year friendship is too good to chuck away.

In any case, if neither of you is over your ex it's madness getting involved with anybody. If further down the road you are over your ex, obviously going out with someone else won't be problematical. If you do think you still fancy your pal and he's available and he's truly over his ex, you could go for it then?

ShogDite · 18/11/2012 11:38

Sound advice thank you. Had a think last night and I'd resolved to just let it be. I'd rather have him in my life as a friend than lose that altogether as a result of a fling, (who's to say he fancies me anyway - could be all in my head!) He's been a good confidante to me so I think it's just a crutch. If I'd never fancied him before this then when I'm finally over ex, I don't see me fancying this guy in the same way as I think I do right now. Love can blossom from friendships but I think if it was meant to be, we'd have got together years ago as we were both single when we first met.

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