I've just been sat here thinking, a few months ago DP and I were discussing living together, marriage, meeting each other's families, holidays -
Now we don't do any of that. We never talk about moving in together, it's become a bit of a touchy subject since he got drunk and accused me of pressuring him on it (although he was the one that brought it up and I was merely asking him how he felt about it at that time!) so now I won't mention it in fear of accusations of pushyness and he seems scared to mention it too.
Marriage - again, touchy subject. He "jokingly" asked me to marry him at one point. I couldn't work out whether he was being serious or not so never really gave an answer. Days later I asked if he WAS joking and he looked very uncomfortable and said of course he was joking - now I still don't know whether he genuinely was joking or not but it's become a subject that neither of us dare bring up.
I feel like our past blunders in communication have created a bit of wall between us that neither of us dare break down. For months now we've just drifted along, not mentioning the future, not talking about our feelings, just cruising ....
But I feel sad that all that initial excitement has gone and all that is left is awkwardness and fear of being branded "pushy".