My perfect DH has just

[wavesandsneezes]

Totally freaked me out. Started necking bottles of wine and saying that he had disappeared and the whispering voices wanted him to drink more. I grabbed the bottles I could find and he tried to wrestle them off me. Finally he took himself to bed and I came to check on him. He said he was going to be sick so I grabbed the nearest thing which was the cats litter tray. All cleaned up now, but I am so very sad. I feel like I have just seen him become every man i was so pleased to escape, and that my perfect DH has a monster inside him.

[Thelifeofpie]

Explain what happened to the ooh GP when they call and take it from there. I know its scary but its good that he is sleeping.

[wavesandsneezes]

Anyway, I need to try to get some sleep to get the Dcs up for
School in the morning. Hoping the doctor phones soon and will hopefully get some help in the morning. At least he seems sound asleep now

[izzyizin]

3 bottles of el vino is sufficient to get the average size individual more than well ratted.

Sounds like he's overdosed on alcohol but, as he's thrown up a couple of times, it's unlikely the little green men will coming out of the walls tonight.

In case 'Dave' fancies another round, I suggest you hide any remaining tempting tipple and let him sleep it off.

If nature takes its usual course, he'll have the mother of all hangovers when he wakes later today but copious cups of java and a fry up will serve to remedy that condition.

[FatimaLovesBread]

I'm confused, did the drinking follow him saying he was hearing voices, or did he drink all the wine and then start with ramblings?

What had he been doing earlier in the evening?

I hope the doctors phone soon and you can get some rest, it doesn't sound like a nice experience but at least he's managing to sleep

[WheatenFarlo]

I hope the GP phones soon and this all gets sorted soon waves, it sounds very scary for you. You are doing just the right thing taking it seriously and calling the doctors. I hope everything will be just fine for you.

[wavesandsneezes]

All is very well hidden and I am going to insist on him seeing a doctor tomorrow because tonight has scared me so much, not just personally but for the DCs and for him too. Still not quite believing this has happened though as we are text book perfect usually. Hoping it was either a stupid drunken episode or that he can access some proper help

[ChippingInLovesAutumn]

How long have you been together?

Has the Dr rung yet?

There's no ifs or maybe's about this - he needs help. He has terrified you and he can't be allowed to do that again.

[boomting]

It's not normal for that to happen following binge drinking, but alcohol affects everyone in different ways. There's a fair chance that he will wake up tomorrow and be fine, but I agree that a medical professional does need to see him to pass their opinion this evening, because if nothing else he's scared you and it's out of the ordinary. I hope the OOH GP phones soon.

Have you ever seen him this drunk before and have there been any other things that have struck you as 'odd' at all lately?

Finally, I presume he's lying on his side, ideally in the recovery position - otherwise he could choke on his own vomit.

[wavesandsneezes]

Still awake and still waiting for the doctor to call. He is on his side ( being a st johns cadet paid off I guess). It sounds so silly but just today I was worrying about tv at bedtime for the Dcs and now this happens. I will let you know what the doc says

[ChippingInLovesAutumn]

TV at bedtime - bad bad BAD habit! They just learn to stay awake longer and longer. TV off at a given time, bit of bedtime reading, then sleep.

[izzyizin]

Sounds like you should practice that particular distraction therapy on your dh at bedtime - and veto any bedtime drinks

If he's sleeping the comatose sleep of the rat-arsed just, there's not a lot of point in getting a medic out to raise one of his eyelids and pronounce him pissed.

I suggest you get back to whatever service you called, tell them there's no need for a call tonight and you'll follow through with his GP tomorrow - and then get yourself some much needed zzzzz's.

[DaveMccave]

What izzy said.

I am intrigued as to why he drank such a lot of wine, when you say he doesn't normally drink, what triggered the drinking in the first place? Could it be the same thing that has triggered whatever this episode was? It's an awful lot to drink in the middle of the week.

[Damash12]

I hope you are ok. I would certainly get help first thing. I am not medically trained but this sounds like some kind of breakdown. Is he under any kind of stress? Can your children go anywhere to stay for a night or two while you get this sorted? Take care of yourself too.

[kittyandthegoldenfontanelles]

Just found this thread. Hope you are ok, waves

Can you update at all? Did the doctor call? Gas your husband resurfaced? Did you manage to rest?

Thinking of you.

[wavesandsneezes]

Morning all, and thanks for the support last night. DH woke up this morning completely oblivious to what happened last night. With a hangover from hell, although back to "himself" as opposed to "Dave". So, no-one came out last night, and he has gone to work. I still really, really want him to see a doctor because he was just pretty scary last night.

The past few months have been pretty stressful - we moved house and have masses of renovation to do. Sounds pretty trivial, but a mate was meant to plumb in the bathroom, and let DH pick him up from work and then announced half way back that he couldn't do it today actually but cheers for the lift So, he was really annoyed about that, as it is the second time he has let us down. And, I've been off work all week with a horrible chest infection, which he reckons made me pretty irritable. We did have a bit of an argument about money - both skint til pay day following the house move and initial expenses. Then he just sort of snapped and I caught him pretty much downing a bottle of wine. We usually have a glass of wine with tea, but this was well out of character.

He doesn't remember anything, the horrible things he said, and has vowed to stop drinking. I don't think that is the answer though, he clearly has a lot of worries at the moment that he needs to find a way to express. We had a little chat this morning before the school run, and I think that he is getting sad about his birthday coming up next month, as it represents almost half a lifetime of being without his dad.

Oh, and I got about 2 hours sleep as I was so worried about him being sick and choking to death so I am shattered. Being ill and sleep deprived is a killer, so hoping to get a bit more sleep this morning.

[scentednappyhag]

Glad you're ok waves, still sounds like her could do with a gp visit though, hearing voices needs to be checked out
Hope today isn't to traumatic for you being so tired!

[Offred]

I don't believe anybody is perfect or that any relationship is, could this be one of the reasons behind the breakdown last night? I'm glad it seems to just have been the drink though.

[Offred]

I mean if he is trying to be perfect all the time...

[Orchidlady]

Wave how unsettling and scarey for you last night. My DP started doing this a couple of years ago and actually had a complete breakdown. He was hearing voices, telling him to do bad things to himself, swiging wine like he was dying of thirst.I think I am a strong person but this really freaked me out. By the sounds of things your DH was scared and was using drink to calm down. He really needs to how serious this is and seek help, it can so spiral out of control, trust me. It is unlikely this is a one off, he may well have been hearing voices before but has not told you. My DP last episode was triggered by a financial crisis. To this day if he gets stressed he will start hearing the voices again but I/we recognise the signs and put coping mechanisms in place.

[kittyandthegoldenfontanelles]

I don't believe anybody is perfect or that any relationship is

I took waves' use of 'perfect' to be a turn of phrase; to illustrate that this is totally out of character rather than a pressured ideal of perfection. Waves mentioned a slight argument earlier on that evening. I don't think she is under any illusion that her husband is without any minor faults but this is a different category.

waves I'm slightly worried about him going to work this morning- did he drive? He couldn't have been competent or legal.

I agree with orchid that this is more than the drink. Sorry, waves.

[wavesandsneezes]

Hi kitty , we are very lucky in that we both live within walking distance of our respective offices, so he walked to work as usual which is good. He came home at lunchtime and we had a cup of tea and cuddles and a chat.

We have got a lot of stresses at the moment, but he has vowed to avoid drink completely for now as, whatever the underlying issues, the drink certainly made things spiral out of control.

And offred DH has always idolised me a lot bit, and wants to do everything just right, even the tiling of the bathroom is being done like a complete masterpiece. So yes, I think maybe it has been a bit of a build up. I understand completely where he is coming from as I have had major MH issues in the past, which I have pretty much sorted after YEARS of counselling, therapy etc.

He has promised to speak to his GP next week - he is feeling down about his dad dying - it happened when he was only 17 and was very sudden, and I think it has hit him that his next birthday will represent almost half of his life time without his dad.

MakeIt DH has decided that he will have a night off tiling, and will spend the evening just being with me. He has even said he will be chief tea maker all weekend. Cleaning up his sick was horrible, as was hearing him shout at me the way he did.

Hoping for a more relaxed weekend, with less focus on getting "stuff" done on the house, and being calm and together and having some quality time with the children. And no wine!

[homeaway]

Sounds like you both need a bit of a break, try and have a relaxing weekend and get out and have some fresh air together with the kids. It is amazing how much you can talk about when you walk.

[Offred]

Waves - my dh is a bit like this. He thinks I'm great, I understand what has led him to think I'm so great and it isn't much to do with me - but that's a digression! My dh is like this, tries so hard to be everything to everyone, finds it very hard to cope with, doesn't want to burden me, doesn't know how to not do it, has times when he can't do it anymore and he has reacted in a self-protective way out of desperation that was horrible to me (and undeserved). I don't want to be idolised, I don't want him to be perfect, I want to be loved and I want him to let me love him, when he takes on too much of the burden and he tries to carry more than he can cope with the effect is to increase the burden on me because I'm having to guess what he feels and make up for the times it breaks him, for the sake of his love for me he needs to change this urge to be perfect (and he is). I don't know if you relate to any of that?