Bum/anal sex orgasms and feminism!

[KoalaCakes]

I'm new here, what a great website!

Anyways, I'm not at all au fait with all the abbreviations so bear with me and any guidance appreciated :)

Right. Bum sex. Two issues. I have a newish bf who is bringing things out in me sexually even I'm surprised at...and I'm very experienced! We have discussed anal sex which has always been a big no-no for me as due to previous health issues I sometimes have enough trouble evacuating never mind letting the workers back in the building! Howeverrrrr, he has told me in great filthy detail about his experiences with an ex who he says used to come like a demon from it without any clit work. I think the fact that he's French/Dutch and tells me in 'that' accent really helps but I got soooo aroused when he detailed exactly what he'd like to do to me and how. We tried some anal play with lots of lube and a finger while i was busy at the front door with a certain R-rabbit and the orgasm was so intense but i was still aware that it was mainly the clitoral stimulation that was guiding the orgasm, and I'm still not 100% sure about letting him literally take the plunge without further research (practical and online!)

Anyways, It got me thinking: do women who have vaginal orgasms come easily from anal compared to those of us who dont? And what sort of quality are they??

My other issue is this. I'm a feminist, and the majority of threads i've read on forums re anal sex tend to be along the lines of 'doing it for him' or 'he initiated it first time'. I'd be very interested to hear if any women initiated it for themselves or do it selfishly (god forbid!) with partners who dont favour it that much.( i'm sure these men are out there!).

The feminist issues with anal sex never really occurred to me. Maybe because I only have sex with women.
And bloody marvellous it is too, whichever role you find yourself in.

A colleague of mine did his PhD thesis about the female orgasm. Many mumsnetters contributed! www.academia.edu/1191032/RJK_PhD_thesis

love bumsex, its probably my favourite type of sex of all, but discussing the details of his sex with an ex in an attempt to get me to try something new, really wouldnt work for me.

Not everyone likes it. If you want to try it, then do, but dont feel pressurised into it because his ex did it. Thats really insensitive of him imo

and certainly dont make up your sex rules by what you think feminists would like.

Feminists like as much kinky shit as anyone else im sure

i did indeed KoalaCakes! rest your pounded undercarriage, and when you are ready dont forget to come back and tell us me all about it!

@ OP Who said romance was dead!

Ok. some points to clarfiy!

1. I'm very liberal sexually and done in the right context hearing about my lovers previous sex experiences can be very erotic for me! He's certainly not pressurising me.

1. I am neither a teenager or a journalist. And whereas I am a 'newbie' I am most certainly not niave (and am a little confused as to why niavity should be presumed because I'm new to the site!). I'm a 44 yr old woman with a Masters in Gender & Sexuality and hence find all aspects of this fascinating perhaps on levels that most people may not. I'm just grateful for places like this where I can talk to other women about something thats becoming a consideration for my own sex life. As a feminist I look at things through that lens, it has never restricted my practices. Huge differences between liberal and radical feminism..rads dont do much for women at all!

Thanks to all for your positive comments on this thread. Sorry if it got a bit racy for some (am I?), but look around...its lame by some standards!

COming back to this thread (er, so to speak) I don't get why mentioning that a previous sexual partner liked something, or did something particularly good, is such a bad idea. Unless you are a couple of virgins, you know the other person's had sex with people before you, and what's wrong with that?

Indeed SolidGold. Some folk just get alittle freaky about that. It's not like he's comparing me or using ex's to pressure me. And I LOVE hearing him talk about it in his filthy European accent! Believe me, if I didnt have the health problrm it'd be 'job done' by now ('scuse the pun!)

Koala are you actually Sid James?

HappyGirlNow, I was raised on a healthy diet of Carry-On and regretfully Benny Hill (hated it!), and Kenny Everett was definatly a bad influence!

I thought as much!