Internet dating: who's done it and how did it go?

[Tamz77]

I'm a single mum of one, and it's been 5 years - yes, 5 - since I last went on a date. This is particularly getting to me as I'm only 28, I'm actually pretty depressed about it. As it happens I've got no family or friends round here either so not much chance to get away from ds (aged 2) long enough to meet anyone.

Have decided that the internet is my only chance of salvation, but am pretty terrified of the stereotype that the only men on dating sites are axe murderers or paedophiles. Has anyone got any stories (good or bad), hints or tips to share? That would be great as I don't really know where to start, which are the most reputable sites etc, and I'd like to have an idea before I go around paying money to sign up for things!

Thanks in advance!

(ps plese don't laugh at the 5 yrs thing I'm very sensitive about it atm!)

lol bugsy2 - some of them definitely are but I also met a biker and an accountant. Just trying to dreg up all the people I met from my memory but am failing miserably.

I did the web/agency dating thing generally over about 21/2 years on and off. I'd say I met about 30 -40 people. About 15-20 were one meeting only - either they or I did not want to go any further.

The other 10 were a mix of people I dated for a while sometimes more than one at a time and 4 who I actually started seeing more seriously dh being one of these.

I hasten to add that the 4 I took things a bit further with were always one at a time (well with only a bit of overlap anyway ) but with all except dh things just didn't work out for whatever reason after a few weeks/months usually.

(By dating - I mean going for drinks/dinner after the first meeting for a few times to get to know them if I thought I might like them).

BTW - be prepared to bre rejected too - there were a few who I liked but didn't like me (sob !!).

Thanks for all the replies - great (and some not so great - Wannabe that is terrifying) stories.

I am currently trying to find the cheapest ones, which may not be a good strategy! Paying a tenner a week which some of them seem to charge is a bit much for me. Had a look at the Guardian as I would like someone who can manage something a bit more substantial than The Sun! Although all I really want is someone who's nice to me :)

Met dh over fledgling internet whilst at uni in 1990.
Was too naive then to think all the what-ifs through and just did it. Would definitely repeat the previous advice to be careful what details you reveal and where/how you meet.
Was great for me 'cause I'm quite reserved and was able to get to know him properly before we met. Turns out we had lots of friends in common, so who knows if we'd have met eventually any way. Was strange face-to-face, though, for a while and we continued to talk more on the net than we did in person until we'd both relaxed into the whole idea.
Also have a few friends who've dated on the web (including one who married - now, sadly, divorced), but none of them have worked out in the long run. One friend, though, did reignite an old flame through Friends Reunited (been married 10 years now).
I'd say give it a go you only live once and if it doesn't work out there are plenty more fish in the electronic sea.

I met my dh 3years ago via Udate (don't think it was expensive) I met 9 men off there (in the space of 2.5 months) and my dh and I are still good friends with 2 of them. (one in the army, one accountant) I agree with Wanabee, meet early I made the mistake of mailing with 2nd bloke for about a month and he came across as my soulmate! one date and never again It can work but agree there are loads of married men etc on there but probably no more then when you go out to a club/bar. I must add that doing anything like that was really out of charachter for me but had just come out of an awful marriage, didn't know many people and worked a long way from where I lived so was unlikely to meet anyone. I had a set critera (opposite of ex h) non smoker, must be older but not too old, had to have a decent job (sick of sponging ex h)had to drive and have a car. I got exactly what I wanted and he gave me a beautiful ds 6 months ago.
I'd say go for it but be careful

Personally no, but my brother did and has been with his girlfriend for about 3 years and they are getting married in September. He seems happy. Rest of us in the family aren't so keen as she is very mouthy and selfish I think. But hey each to their own!

Slightly different but my MIL met her new husband through a dating agency, they have been together about 10 years and seem happy. {smile]

Think if you bear in mind the potential negative sides you should be fine! Go for it

Perhaps we'll all be buying hats in six months time!!

I did a few years ago before things were 'happening' with dh (who I met on a blind date). I was shocked at the number of replies I got from my ad (something like 70 in the first few days). Some I dismissed instantly, others emailed a bit and met up with about 10 of them. 2 became very good friends (and still are) but i had already met my dh and although at the time we were just friends I had my eye (and heart) on him for more :o!

It was a lot of fun!

Have changed my name for this but am a regular.

I'm currently enjoying the beginnings of a relationship with someone I met through Soulmates (the Guardian website). I had only had my profile on there for a few days when I started emailing this one guy. He does live a fair distance away but we just seem to click. Same age, same interests and we've both been upfront about everything since the start. Emailed and chatted on the phone for a month and when we met for the first time (just 3 weeks ago), it was great. I was worried the reality wouldn't be the same but I think because we'd been so honest, I knew exactly what I was getting! Since then I've seen him every weekend and things are going great. I have a young dd who he won't meet for a long time to come. I need to get to know him better first but I know I wouldn't have met anyone like him in a bar. So I think it can work. I'm not saying he's the one but things are going really well so far.

I have two friends who have used internet dating and both have had good experiences in general. One has had two relationships, only short but they served a purpose in that she had been on her own for a long time before them and they really helped her gain her confidence with men again - they were both nice blokes, just not long-term prospects. She has now met someone else through friends and that relationship is going well as she is feeling better about herself. Of course, she went on a few very dull dates as well, but nothing that scared her at all. The other friend met a man through match.com just over a year ago, he is absolutely lovely, kind and sweet and nice looking - they moved in together after 6 months and are expecting a baby later this summer. A very happy story, that one. So I would say go for it, take care to follow the rules about blind dating safely, and have some fun. Good luck!

I have done internet dating and soulmates and it was fun. Met a couple of weirdos, one guy who turned out to be married and some nice people who I didn't click with but were nice all the same. met dh this way. Of 4 friends who've done this all ended up with longterm partners and two of us ended up married and having children with the men we met on the internet.

I'm also a single parent and have tried internet dating. I've also tried speed dating and think this is better - it's so important to meet someone. One tip is don't be seduced by their photo - many people put up VERY flattering shots! I chose a nice photo of me that I felt reflected what I really look like without being complete fiction. Probably means you get fewer responses but there's no disappointment when you do meet.

A big problem for me is getting time to spend with someone. Evenings are easy (can get a babysitter) but what you need is daytime at weekends to spend with partners. Hard when you have a small child in tow. I guess that's a whole other thread though...

Haven't met any loonies but did meet some very nice men and had a few pleasant nights out.

I'd say go for it - what have you got to lose?

My best mate met her other half through Guardian Soulmates - they now have a two year old little girl and are truly happy. She reckoned Guardian was the best one because you can call and hear the person's voice - she said you can tell a lot about a person by their voice and hey - it worked for her..

I too have had positive experiences of internet dating and met my DH through it. I have also done a lot of "blind dates" through the Observer mag as have some of my friends. I joined a dating agency once but that didn't really work out as most of the men I met were not the same as their profiles suggested....

With the internet, I would think you just have to be aware of the possibility for freaks lurking behind normal exteriors, just as you do in life. It's easier for them to hide their true selves on the internet, but as long as you follow basic safety rules about not giving out personal information and telling someone where you will be etc, you should be fine.

Tamz77, I havent had chance to read the whole thread yet, I have been online dating now for a year, don't pay to use it first off, lots of sites offer free trial periods. Loopylove and udate are really expensive, friendsreuniteddating is ok as is girlsdateforfree, which I suggest you try first as it really is free for girls ! let me know if you need any other advice. Also Lookitsme is quite cheap

well i meet my boyfriend throught a yahoo chat room :) i had never seen him before even thought he was at the same high school at me.
we have been together for 5years and have 2 lovely daughters together and will be together for many years to come im so happy that i went on that chat room :O

Hey tamz
Am single parent too but would think it too dodgy to use dating site. Also think women who go on are desparados - only joking - would suggest tho that you meet very early on in a very public place and have a mate phone as a get away - just in case. Oh, and dont get in with someone at the other end of the country, have fun.

It's just another medium to meet people. Let's face it what do you know about someone you meet for a couple of hours in a pub who asks you for a date compared to someone on the net. I had one date with a guy who was a perfect match for me. At least because of the boxes you have to tick you're more likely to meet someone you've got something in common with rather than go through the rigmarole of establishing this by more conventional methods. For other reasons, my date and I never got to meet up again as circumstances always got in the way but I often think of him. Go for it!

Forgot to add that my pal met a chap on her first date through dating reunited and they've been inseparable ever since. And he's a total gem of a guy who adores her and her kids!

I stand corrected, hmmm....should I - shouldn't I???

Sheila, which speed dating organisation did you use. I went on one & thought it was awful. It was with speed-dater. I met 23 men and there wasn't one single one of them who I even ticked the friend box. Two really depressing hours!!!
Maybe I'm just very unlucky with all of this dating stuff - or have some kind of attitude problem! ;-)

Joan Rivers was on telly in America this morning talking about her attempts at internet dating. She said that she wanted to meet someone, and it wasn't happening so she thought she'd try online because "let's face it girls, your dream man isn't going to turn up on your doorstep unless he's the FED-X man, and he's single and hot"! Really made me laugh!!

I remember a thread on here about women having the hots for their postmen - could be time for a new career - lol.

Met my DP on an internet dating site & we have a gorgeous DD now so I can say it definately worked for me. I had used this site a few times before & had a few dates, some good, some awful. I remember the first one had yellow teeth which he hid in his photo. My friend still takes the piss out of me about that one!!

After a while you start to develop a bullshit radar. I would agree that if you like the look of someone's profile & after a few emails they still seem ok then try & talk (on the mobile of course) to each other. If the conversation flows then thats a good sign. Don't leave it too long before you meet as I made that mistake. Thought someone was really compatible & he turned out to be a major weirdo...very embarrassing & also awkward to walk away from if you've developed a rapport before meeting them.

Above all, be safe.

well i meet my boyfriend throught a yahoo chat room i had never seen him before even thought he was at the same high school at me.
we have been together for 5years and have 2 lovely daughters together and will be together for many years to come im so happy that i went on that chat room :O

my friend met her dh online. They split up many years later but was unrelated to their meeting on-line. My brother met his wife online and they are very happy. my best friend dates on it constantly. She is 41 and single and has an active social life and dates all the time. no, longtime relationships but I don't think it is necessarily due to the fact it was online. Probably safer in many ways than picking someone up in a bar. My friend alwasy does her first meetups in a coffee shop and her sister calls her mobile at a set time to make sure things are ok.

Six years ago I put an ad on the Excite Personals website. I met several nutters, including one with a foot fetish that he told me about on our first and only date, but I also met one very nice man who I later went on to live with and our son was born in October 2003!

I don't think there's any shame in how we met and I'd still do it again today. When you meet up with someone just be sensible and make sure someone knows where you are going, what time you're expected back, keep your mobile handy etc, etc.

Have fun!