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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Above everything, respect yourself, and treat yourself like you'd treat others

8 replies

freemanbatch · 14/11/2012 20:07

I was given this advice yesterday by someone rather lovely who was offering an answer to a question about preparing myself to move on from the ex and think about one day having another relationship.

There were lots of other useful bits in the answer but this one struck me as really quite amazing and is something I'm going to try and do.

How many people actually treat themselves with respect because I know I haven't done for years!

OP posts:
HissyByName · 14/11/2012 22:04

I promise you, it works too!

AND by way of Karma or whatever, it self perpetuates!

StandYourGround · 14/11/2012 22:29

God yes! I am lovely to others and treat myself like shite! It's a trend I've tried to reverse though, I try to treat myself how I would want other people to treat themselves

I used to love watching the old balding chap Dr Phil, and I liked his saying 'you teach other people how to treat you' or summat, meaning you will accept the treatment that you think you deserve. True dat.

freemanbatch · 15/11/2012 14:36

I really hope it does work Hissy because I'm determined to give it a good go.

I have always been the person who puts everything and everyone before myself and it is something I am trying to work on because if you don't put yourself somewhere before last then no one else will!

OP posts:
DowntonAbbess · 15/11/2012 16:13

Ok, does someone want to provide me with the Dummies Guide to respecting yourself, please?

I could really do with doing so, as my counsellor will testify to. I let myself be treated like sh*te whilst going out of my way to help others, and it has to end. The last few days have been a watershed, and I really need to get myself sorted.

Any ideas?

SephoraRosebud · 15/11/2012 16:16

Yes, can we have some ideas on how to do this? It's so hard to actually change behaviour patterns so even when you know what the problem is you keep doing the same things and getting the same results- ie lack of respect.

TiredBooyhoo · 15/11/2012 16:18

thanks for this OP. it seems like common sense but so easy to forget to do. hope you find that lovely person. i'm still looking too.

freemanbatch · 15/11/2012 16:26

I have no idea how to do it successfully so I hope someone comes along with some ideas,

I am trying to make sure i consider my needs directly after the children's and before anyone out side our house, its not easy but I'm trying to slowly move myself up the order in my own head in the hope that eventually I will not have to work so hard at it but who knows how I'll do I've never been any good at such things, my friend is right though we should all be nicer to ourselves than we are.

OP posts:
DowntonAbbess · 15/11/2012 16:54

I will print that mantra off and stick it up at home where I can see it every day. I do like it. And it really is quite timely. So thank you, and thank your friend.

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