need some of y'alls amazing wisdom and experience out there.... am trying to work out what to do for xmas. snooty big sis is offering to host because mum is having cancer treatment. don't hate me for this but am not keen on going. she's doing fine, it won't be her last. but it also won't be the last time they all lay in to me. i am 'different', 'a rebel', my mum used to to say sneeringly, they have never liked any decisions i have taken and even though i am 40!! they still tell me when they don;t like something i do. e.g. was about to buy a house, with DH who they like, but gave me months of wearing down about how it was too far from my DD's school (35 mins). when we moved to pretty rural village and got my DD into the best school, they said 'it was luck wasn't it, that your move went so well.' they could not believe for a minute I had done so much right. now lastly its been a series of job decisions. they know all this because I try to be a good daughter, call them, visit whenever I can... but I am sick of it, and them, sadly, i have tried to explain that they need to stop judging but they don;t and the wounds are old but still very un-healed and no amount of counselling is ever going to change the fact they really p**s me off with their 1950s snooty judging. they can;t love me for who I am so... . what to do???? help!!