I am at my wits end.
My relationship has been getting steadily worse over the last few months and become increasingly violent. I work full time and bring in all the money for the household whilst my DH ?looks after? the kids and runs the household. He is a total control freak. On the first of every month he makes me transfer virtually all my money into his account, which he then decides what to do with. Most of the money goes into savings accounts in his name, some of it goes to living expenses, and I get left with a maximum of £100 a month for me. When he decides he needs/wants something he just goes out and buys it, whereas for even the most simple of things like petrol for the car I have to beg for every penny. Further more once he has put the money aside he wants there is never enough left over to run the house. There is not enough food for me and the kids, and it breaks my heart in the morning when I have to explain to my son that he can?t have cereal for breakfast because there is no milk, nor toast because we have no bread, but would he take an apple instead? We live up north and as it gets increasingly cold I ask time and again to put the heating on just for a little while, only for him to insist that it costs too much and so no. I can?t stand seeing my two children freezing cold when I get home for work and my two year old daughters feet are so cold it?s as if she has been stuck in the freezer.
To make matters worse my partner has no problems with in his opinion ?the odd punch? to my arm or leg in effort to reinforce his views on a subject. I?ve been so stressed at work lately, and look likely to lose my job in a year or so, something for which he blames me entirely for and never passes up an opportunity to remind me of. The other day when I was on the sofa, I said something which he took offence to, to which his response was to kneel on my chest and force the air out of my lungs. He then grabbed my hands and twisted them in an effort to make me ?say sorry?. I didn?t respond at all, but just felt so incredibly frustrated that this was my lot in life.
Later that evening, the temperature was set to drop to below zero, so I quietly popped the central heating on for the first time this year. He heard me and so switched it straight back off again. We did this several times, until everything ? work, money, his spite got too much more me and I pushed him away from the central heating button. He fell over and hurt himself, but then got up and a minute later was trying to switch it off again. I was still so angry I pushed him over a second time and then ran downstairs. He decided that the best thing to do was to call the police, and the end result was that I spent 4 hours detained in a cell and being questioned for assault. I feel so ashamed of myself, but just can?t bear living like this any longer. He has now taken the fact that I pushed him over as evidence that I can?t be trusted with my two children and is trying to stop me spending any time with them.
I still have to go to work, whilst trying to think about all this ? and all because he wouldn?t let me turn heating on. I have no life, work is awful but I keep going because it is the only income my family has, and don?t want to go home, because he ?controls? the house and has made it into a place of torment for me. I have no money, because he has put it in his accounts, and he doesn?t leave me with enough to do or buy extra food or things for our kids.
My only options are to put up with him and endure this continued misery or quit my job and try and take my children away from him, but I can?t even contemplate how?d I survive as a single parent with no job or even savings in my name.
PLEASE help me.