I don't know what to do, I cannot cope with all of this

[SantasStrapOn]

S'me Stratters. I cba to name change and you'd all guess it was me anyway.

I have nobody but my DDs. No family. My family are v v toxic and I was the scapegoat. No friends. I cant bring myself to trust anyone enough. Apart from the DDs, and people like the dentist, my GP, the only people I 'talk' to are my XPILs and my XH. I don't leave the house, I am terrified of everyone and everything, and I have no trust. This time last year I wasn't quite so bad, but it's steadily got worse and worse.

ATOS, in their wisdom, decided that I was perfectly ok. They lied and said that I went on my own (I didn't), and put the opposite of what I said down. I was interviewed by a physiotherapist FGS. I appealed and was told I wouldn't get a tribunal for 18 months. That was in March.

I filled in the paperwork. Made it very clear that it was impossible for me to represent myself, told them i had noone who could attend for me, told them the real version of what happened in my interview. Told my GP what had happened. Went to see my old Psychiatrist, who I've seen on and off since having DD2. I'm having fortnightly counselling but have only just started. I know I need to sort this out, but it's so hard without any support. I have nobody to ask to represent me, and nobody has offered to.

I planned to get a letter from my psychiatrist and counsellor, and send it as supporting evidence. I spoke to the DWP, who said it was clearly a mistake and not to worry.

Today I got a letter from the tribunal service in Peterborough. The appeal was held on the 9th. I had no forewarning that it was going to take place then. Nobody told me.

My appeal has failed. I have no fucking idea what to do next, and I can't cope with even thinking about it. I have never felt so alone and helpless.

[NicholasTeakozy]

This any use to you Stratters?. I'll have another dig to see if there's something more relevant to your situation.

[ike1]

Just read Vicars post. Try 08444 772020. That is the CAB advice gateway service for Wales but they will be able to give you a good signpost service or get you an app with bureau close to you in England if needed.x

[NicholasTeakozy]

on appealing failed WCA.

[SantasStrapOn]

Thank you all. I think I'm going to be busy tomorrow!

[queenrollo]

Stick the kettle on Stratters i'm going to knock on every door in your town until I find where you live....

have pm'd you to see if I can help.

[SantasStrapOn]

R&R queen.

Can I just say, I'm overwhelmed at the amount of help, support, and just sheer bloody kindness and love that has poured into my inbox. I can't believe how wonderful you all are, you've made me feel so much better, honestly you really have.

After this is all over, my life's mission is to re-educate anyone who thinks Mumsnetters are a vipers in a nest/the work of the devil/other such rubbish. They're not, you're all amazing, and I love you all very, very much.

[PixieHot]

Poppiouuuytreeeeeeeeeyyh

[PixieHot]

Sorry Stratters, that was DS. His advice is rubbish (he's only 2).

I wasn't going to post as I think lots of people are already giving you great advice. But now that DS has forced my hand, I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry that you're going through all of this. Good luck with everything, don't be afraid to keep asking for help here and in RL .

[ShotgunNotDoingThePans]

Are you calling the Adviceline number for cab? 08444 111 444?
It's not available in every area yet, but they claim to be operational in Lincs - I think that's where you are?
If this is the number where you're drawing a blank, I suggest calling any reasonably local bureau and briefly telling them your problem - ask for the right number if they say you're out of area. If you get an answer machine, leave a message - someone listens several times a day and people are allocated to do callbacks.

If you want to pm me your location, I'll dig around and try and find a number to call.

[queenrollo]

shotgun I'm local to stratters and have pm'd her the relevant info because I know how to get it

[ShotgunNotDoingThePans]

Excellent work Watson .

[ThatVikRinA22]

im glad someone could cos i was drawing a big fat blank.....disgusted with the CAB useless bloody info on the phone....am glad people are finding more constructive ways to help because mine consisted of moaning alot! (as is the theme with me lately!)

[rhondajean]

Stratters I have pmed you tonight and will email from work at some point tomorrow

[SantasStrapOn]

Got it now, thank you rhonda

[rhondajean]

Sorry about the delay.

[ThePathanKhansWitch]

Oh Sarah, just a big love to you.

I wish i had practical help with your appeal.
Keep going with it, if your in midlands/bham, I know a great Welfare rights guy.

So the barn burned down, now we can the moon.
I have no doubt you'll fight, i love your
posts, made me laugh so many times when there wasn't a laugh in me.

.

[ThePathanKhansWitch]

SEE, see the moon.

[flyoverthegoldenhill]

just letting you know I'm still thinking of you x

[BewitchedBotheredandBewildered]

Sarah, you touch people's hearts. You have a very comforting way about you. And now they want to comfort you and look after your heart.
If this outpouring of help from mumnetters has surprised you, I hope it has the effect that, when all these practicalities are sorted, you feel able to allow people to be your friends.
In real life, face to face.
I know you've been treated hideously by people who should have treasured you.
But look at the love and loyalty and concern that you have inspired here.
It's so much better with eye contact and warm squidgy flesh. x

[SantasStrapOn]

Thank you :) Again. I honestly don't feel like I can possibly tell you all just how much it means to me. And yes, you're right Bewitched, it does make me feel like there could be a way out. I so desperately want to get back to how I used to feel, I look at myself in the mirror sometimes and wonder where the fun, gregarious person went, the one that was always up for a party and having fun. I've never been good at having close friends, but I do still harbour a want for friends, company, being able to at least trust people a bit.

I hope I do feel a lot better once the stress of this is over, I know that I've gone downhill massively since this all started, the strain it places on you is simply awful.

I do love you all, and your help, cyberhugs and stuff are helping an awful lot.

PS sorry for the mush.

[Fiderer]

Oh Stratters, you lovely mush, have just seen this. Am rubbish with practical advice here in ForrinLand but am sending you hugs and more mushy squeezy things than you ever thought possible.

You will look in that mirror again and see yourself because the person you are is still there. Weighed down now but not out for the count. Loveliness always wins?

[BewitchedBotheredandBewildered]

Mush is good .

[Sunnywithachanceofshowers]

We luffs you too Stratters. You are awesome. xxx

[rhondajean]

Stratters just let me know if you want to take my friend up on her other offer, any time. Xx

[SantasStrapOn]

Will do, thank you rhonda.

I think I've replied to everyone, I hope I have I appreciate each and every message so much. You've all been great, and it has helped me so much.

Off to the GP in the morning. :)