Not been the best husband but I want to make things better

[WantToMakeThingsRight]

Ok this is not easy for me to post here

I have been an absolute shit to my wife over the years I have taken her for granted and for this I feel totally ashamed.

Things came to a head a few months ago when she tells me that she has had enough and that she is thinking of leaving me.

I have not been the partner to her that I should have been and I do not know what to do.

She tells me that she has been feeling very lonely and that I have not been around for her and this is true.

Our love life has all but faded away

I want to change and am trying to change not just for her but also for myself I have been doing much more around the house and am being the father to our children that I should have been for years.

I have been trying my hardest to make things up to her but realise that it is going to take her a long time to fully trust me that I am not going to hurt her again and to build our relationship back up again.

When we first got together we loved each other with all our hearts and married life just got in the way.

I know people say you cannot change but I know I can and I am. I love my Wife and my children and do not want to be apart from them.

We used that have a great relationship both inside the bedroom and outside and I want to get this back but think that it may be too late

Sometimes I think that I should just leave my family but this just brings hurt

I have beautiful children and we live in a lovely house and I do not want to be apart from my family

Is it too late

Abitwobbley I think you have hit the nail on the head

I would not blame my wife it is absolutely nothing that she has done it totally is me and my doing I know this and if I loose her then I have no one at all to blame other than myself.

You describe her as a jewel an she is.

Thank you for the link I will go and register

Thank you

op, do you think your wife is reading this?
Just to say, this is quite a big forum, so it is possible she will not see it unless she regularly reads most posts on the relationship board.

Amillionyears I am not hopping that she reads this. I am not posting here because I want her to read this, if she does then I am sure she will realise that I have posted

I am just trying to voice things that are going around and around my head

For your wife to be happy, it would take her to make that happen. You can't make that happen (although not doing the things that she hates obviously helps). So talk to her about what makes her happy, what she wants to do with her life, her hopes for 5 years hence.

Also, enjoy being a father. Seeing how a husband is with their children: really delighting in their company and investing time and attention and thought into their development and future can go a long way to restoring trust and love.