I think friends DH is a prat should I tell her?

[Georgiesmum]

I have a friend who I only met 6months ago, we have become quite close and I worry about her, she has no self confidence (about herself or her mothering abitiltys0 and I think this has alot to do with her DH. he works away ALOT and from what she says when he is home he does nothing but put her down and the few times Ive met him he has seem to try and belittle her infront of me.

The question is do i say something to her or not?

could you work the conversation gently round to it while having a few drinks or something? these situations are tricky as she's as likely to get defensive and argue with you as to see sense and talk rationally.

I wouldn't. - What would be the benefit?

She probably already knows all that you can tell her. And she has probably learnt to cover up any hurt or upset she feels.

The best thing you can do is be supportive, show her that you are their if she needs to talk, and don't take sides if she does open up as she will immediately close up again if she thinks she's going to drive you to hate her dh.

We only really see wacj with DC in tow, i have said to her she needs to have more confidence in her abilties no matter what but I dont think she got what I meant, i dont want to upset her but I can see she is unhappy

Be the best supportive friend you can be. She probably knows and doesn't feel she can do anything about it. If you tell her and she feels as though she should defend him that may screw up your friendship. Then she ends up stuck with him without you for support.
You probably see more of her than him by the sound of it. You can help her self esteem and try ot get her out with others maybe so she can see she's doing a good job?

No. i think it's ok for her to say stuff about him but the chances are she won't be happy if you join her..epsecially if you don't know him. She may also think she has said too much and feel awkward.

I would...but in a roundabout way, trying to come at it from a more positive angle. I would compliment her, a lot, on the things she is good at, what a lovely natural mum she is, how competently she deals with a certain situation etc, and when she shrugs it off or says "no, I'm crap" I would take the opportunity to say things like "What makes you believe such negative things about yourself? I don't see you that way at all!" or "I wish I knew where these put-downs come from, it's such a shame when they are so untrue, you should be proud of XYZ about yourself". I would try to be gentle about it but I would also be quite pointed about it and try and show her that her confidence is being undermined and that the criticisms are not true. Hopefully she would start to realise that it is all coming from him. Or she might just decide that I am a sanctimonious pain in the jaxy, and ditch me

I think I will try your way GS I can just sit back, I prob should but she is so nice I feel she needs a boost!

No, if you say something it will back fire. Be there for her but don't say anything.

Her dh sounds like my FIL who is the same. Was away a lot of his working life at sea and makes his wife feel like the little woman indoors who waits on him hand and foot, cooks, cleans and keeps house. If she mentions his disapproval then try to get her to discuss it further and help her to find ways to make him see how awful he is making her feel.