I'm scared to get a tattoo cos Mum won't like it.

[DaysieGoneBananas]

Fair enough if I was 19 but I'm 35. There are alot of things I daren't do in case Mum wouldn't approve and I realise that it is totally pathetic and spineless but I just can be bothered with the disapproval and disappointment. The thing is the reason I want the tattoo is to remember three angel babies and my 3 little people that are still here. It would be covered most of the time and it isn't large but even though I know exactly what I want and exactly where and that it would help me I literally can't do it!
Sorry for such a trivial thing but I just wanted some perspective on things...are tattoos really bad, does Mum have a point?

CrazyCat thank you thats exactly how i feel. It would be something positive. My scars are very slight as I try not to be too obtrusive so I can explain them away but I think that if I had something permanent to acknowledge my babies i'd feel more settled.

While the tattoo might be symbolic and a lovely tribute I think you need more than that. You're clearly lacking support from people who should be there for you, and you are really hurting, totally understandably, about your lost babies. You seem to have a need to have that pain recognised and understood. That's a normal and really healthy feeling, it means you're ready to own your grief and carry it more easily. I'm not saying don't get the tattoo, I'm just saying don't assume you'll feel better once you have it.

If you don't gel with your counsellor you need to find someone new. How long have you been seeing her? What about her makes you feel uncomfortable.

Just do it, she's hardly going to ground you or make you wash it off

I had a different counsellor before and really got on with her...I think its just the change and trying to trust her with some heavy stuff when I've only seen her three times. I'm not saying that I think the tattoo will make me feel magically better please don't misunderstand me. I just think it might help a bit iyswim?

Of course. So do you think you're going to get it?

It's just a tattoo, not the end of the world so I wouldn't worry too much about that part of it no matter what others say.

However, a tattoo isn't therapy and I would not expect it to settle you in any way.

Btw, 8 years on and my mum still doesn't know about mine! How ridiculous!

Actually yes I think I am. Also as a bit of a 'ya boo sucks to you' to the stereotype Mum thinks I'll turn into if I get a tattoo (I'll start swearing at the kids, have affairs and never work again )