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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Dentist

42 replies

HtotheS · 08/11/2012 18:39

Had really bad pain in my teeth. Went to dentist today and he said I needed a crown £654!!!!!

Husband is furious! I told him its not really my fault. Sometimes I forget to brush my teeth (bad I know)

Then he said 'your teeth are rotten and you smell'

He said I smell because I don't shower every day- I don't think I need to, plus hair doesn't need to be washed every day.

I'm really upset.

OP posts:

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/11/2012 21:08

I'm now obsessed with your bladder, Seabird . Have you tried a SodaStream and just fizzy water?

If the OP is still around, I am sorry I am hijacking.

Seabird72 · 08/11/2012 21:12

No Sodastream! But did try the flavoured water - the elderflower and pear from Morrisons but it's disappeared - haven't been able to get it at my local Morrisons now for about 2 months - I do like the elderflower fizzy - but it's probably got just as much sugar in it! Yes sorry op for hijacking your thread!

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/11/2012 21:19

Elderflower is also a diuretic. So not great for dehydration. What about fizzy water with real fruit juice in it? I have no idea why I am this bothered. It's really worrying me, though.

Seabird72 · 08/11/2012 21:24

Didn't know Elderflower was a diuretic - must have a taste for all the bad things! I may now have to try the fizzy water with real fruit juice so you don't worry about me!! Still don't think the dentist will be happy with me though :-(

bedmonster · 08/11/2012 21:29

MrsTP and SB are making me but the OP is making me rather .
And I have no advice really, other than please make sure you brush your teeth and is your DP otherwise nice?
And no, I don't think everybody HAS to shower every day but you do need a wash (ie, clean face and pits/fanjo, though why anyone bothers to do this but not have a shower is beyond me) daily. Personal hygiene is pretty important in a relationship tbh, I wouldn't like it if my DP didn't shower daily or regularly 'sometimes' forgot to brush his teeth. Thankfully he is very clean - daily showers, twice daily toothbrushing and more often than not a shower when he gets in from work and another clean pair of boxers - though it does contribute to my ever increasing washing pile.
I hope you're okay OP, talk to your DP some more.

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/11/2012 21:37

The OP started another thread in AIBU asking where her thread had gone. I let her know it was here but I don't know whether she found it. Some of the earlier comments were a bit harsh and I worry that she is depressed and has left.

to Seabird. I will sleep easier now you are not going to shrivel up.

topknob · 08/11/2012 21:38

Dh had a load of private & NHS work carried out recently and his crown was approx. £350 this was private, you are being over charged !

bedmonster · 08/11/2012 21:43

I saw MTP, hopefully she is ok. Though i am now equally as obsessed with Seabirds sugary drink consumption as you!

Original poster

HtotheS · 09/11/2012 10:29

I have been depressed and in and out of a physchiatric ward for last year.

I guess I just can't be bothered. No excuse I know.

OP posts:

LessMissAbs · 09/11/2012 10:36

If the OP hasn't been to the dentist for a while and practises poor dental hygiene, then I suspect she is needing a lot more than just a crown, with a lot of preparatory work involved, and that will explain the cost.

OP, if your teeth are that bad and people are complaining you smell, try to get in the routine of brushing teeth and washing at the same point every day, so that it becomes second nature and you don't have to think about it. Try and be self disciplined and make yourself stick to a daily routine.

If you brush your teeth regularly, it will help offset the damage caused by coke.

NotQuintAtAllOhNo · 09/11/2012 11:33

HtotheS this is possibly going to sound really MEH, but being depressed and not taking care of yourself is a vicious circle. You might actually start feeling a bit better if you started taking care of yourself more. Showering, washing hair and brushing your teeth. Go to the hairdresser. Ask your dentist if the quote was private or nhs, as you should have nhs rates.

Original poster

HtotheS · 09/11/2012 12:12

It was a private quote. Why should I have NHS?

OP posts:

Sausagedog27 · 09/11/2012 12:40

My mil has been in and out of hospital in the last two years. She doesn't wash, clean her teeth (one is badly rotten at the front but she won't go to the dentist) or look after herself at all.

It's really distressing to watch- gentle reminders don't work and now she is in such a state she really smells. So we have had to be more blunt, and it still doesn't change. We even had to throw clothes and bed sheets out as they were so filthy.

I think if you can find the energy from somewhere to make te effort- even if is just every other day or something. It's really hard living with someone in that state (not diminishing your issues in any way- just trying to give perspective). I'm pleased you went to the dentist. Maybe your dh is cross because you left it so long- treatment coud have been simpler/cheaper if it had been caught earlier. After its been done, make sure you keep on top of dental hygiene so it doesn't happen again.

Your post has made me very sad. Could you have a chat with your mental health team for help/adjust your meds?

NotQuintAtAllOhNo · 09/11/2012 14:42

I thought everybody was entitled to NHS, and upgraded to private if they wanted to pay extra. If you are opting to pay extra, then fair enough I am not going to convince you to try to get your dental treatment on the NHS.

whatdoithinknow · 09/11/2012 22:31

This thread strikes a chord with me as it is a real bug bearer with me and dp he doesn't have best oral hygiene and had some rotten teeth when I met him which he eventually got round to having removed and now seems to be reverting bak to old habits and I bet he'll soon have bigger problems if he doesn't face up to it. I end up nagging him about turning up for dentist appointments and feeling like his flaming mother but I just don't want to have that situation again. What can I do? Should I just be blunt or gently keep on at him? It would hurt his feelings if I told him what I really thought but it is hard for the partner of someone like this also

FastLoris · 10/11/2012 00:41

Crown in £209 on the NHS (just had quote for one yesterday, as it happens). Everyone is entitled to that - problem is finding an NHS dentist with availability, depending on where you live.

Your DH is possibly being a bit unreasonable about the tooth thing. Anyone can brush their teeth averagely often and still end up needing a crown. Brushing is only one factor to do with dental hygene, and some people are just more prone to cavities than others.

Although if there is a general hygene issue it's fair enough for him to say so.

Abitwobblynow · 10/11/2012 13:26

Poor you, depression is so awful it just gets to a 'what's the point?' place, but PLEASE make sure you do these two things.

God/reality has a way of telling us: your crown is telling you you need to brush your teeth.

Your H was being blunt and harsh, but he was telling the truth. Suck it up, and look after yourself, ok?

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