persuading your partner to choose to end relationship

[desparatelyseekingsomething]

Has anyone tried this? I want to keep relations as good as possible with oh and so want him to decide that he wants to end the relationship rather than my having to walk out. (I want to because he is (I think) emotionally abusive and he is verbally abusive.)

I was thinking of trying to become more and more boring and to do less and less housework or something similar. I've just started to work FT and I suspect that oh will realise that he actually wants a FT housewife rather than someone who works outside the home.

Leaving means leaving behind your behaviour as an appeaser.

Leaving means accepting you cannot change him, accept he will continue his form (he will) regardless of anything you do, accept it's going to be a rough ride.

Leaving means a future where he cannot affect you because you take control and don't allow it. You do have to take that control though.

My ex used to threaten to leave quite a lot but didn't go through with it so I knew that there was a good chance that he would threaten the same again arising from an argument (which was happening anyway). Sure enough he did and this time instead of begging him to stay or talking it through... I agreed and let him walk. However, this was more opportunistic than planned and only at the stage where I'd decided it was over anyway. It did make it easier for me to keep on the house and the kids. He has since said 'if I knew I wasn't coming back I never would have left the house'....well tough titty to that.

I wouldn't recommend trying to drive him away through being intolerable to live with though....even less so through instilling boredom. Apart from the stress of having to keep up the head-games, there's also a big risk that he either won't even get the hint...or just won't budge.

Like i said earlier though...cut down on the housework a bit if you've got too much on and/or you want to put your effort into work instead. He's verbally abusive anyway...these guys are never happy so no point breaking your back cleaning on top of doing a FT job. I doubt he'll leave you for it but it'll free up some time for you.