I feel so betrayed.

[mykidskeepmegoing]

Evening everyone.

I'll cut a long story short. Aged 16 my stepbrother thought it would be a good idea to come into my bedroom and sexually assault me in my sleep. I woke up a couple of time and told him where to go. I have no idea how long it went on for as at the time i was a heavy sleeper. My sister and i shared a bedroom, we used to wedge the door shut and we even went as far as to wear our swimming costumes when we went to have a bath!! yep, the little pervert used to just walk in.
I thought it only happened to me, not my sister. I told my mum and she 'sorted' it. I moved out, then found out he was doing it to my sister. She went into school aged 12! and told the teacher. As you can imagine social services etc.. got involved. My sister moved in with my dad, i beat the pervert with a baseball bat.
Now that's the background. Now here's my problem.
My boyfriend, the father of my beautiful children and his fat brother have hired this vile pervert! At the time he was assaulting me i was going out with my boyfriend. we have been together for 15 years. Apparenty it's because the pervert owes my bil lots of money and he takes it out of his wages.
I feel like it's a massive smack in the face. I feel so hurt and upset that the man who says he loves me can sit in a car everyday with a man who put his hands in my knickers when ever i was asleep! My boyfriend said it was a long time ago and i need to get over it.
He even went out for a pint with him the other day. I just don't know what to do or think :/

@darkesteyes My stepbrother is the same age as me. We believe it happened to him before we came along. I'm not making excuses for him but he had and still does have the classic signs of abuse. It's like a vicious circle. I'm the only one in the family that has nothing to do with him, i have forgiven him but that's it.

mykids if you have forgiven him then you are a bigger and better person than i am
random im sorry to hear about whats going on. is your partner a serving police officer or have i got the wrong poster.

Wrong poster darkesteyes.
What made me forgive him is the god awful childhood he had. He was left in his cot overnight on his own while his mother was out with other men. God only knows what happened to him growing up. He seems to have turned his life around and good for him i say.
But if i ever caught him within 6ft of my children i would not be responsible for my actions.

Love, what if your "D"P let's your stepbrother near your kids? Has him over after work when you're at the shops? Goes to see him with kids? Sends you out somewhere and has your SB over? You can't trust either of them.

Sweetheart, love isn't sniffing your DPs clothes and getting butterflies when you see them. You're obsessed by your DP because he's all you've ever known and you think he's all you'll ever get or deserve. He isn't. He's a liar and an abuser. You're dependent on him. That's not a loving relationship.

The man is a cu*t. You are only 30, you have a lot of living left to do, don't do it with someone who treats you so badly. You deserve more.

Those butterflies you get, - that's not love, it's fear.

co-dependancy. go and look it up. Your kids dont deserve the cycle continue, and the abuse IS continuing by allowing him to treat you the way he does. you are teaching your kids that this is OK. that this is what a relationship is about. That men control women, and women are worthless. You say that if your step brother came within 6ft of them you would kill, but you are exposing them to your P (I cannot add the 'D') every day, and thats causing them deeper emotional damage.
If you cannot leave him for yourself, then get a grip and save your poor kids

I haven't read all of your previous thread but it sounds like he is having his cake and eating it - bloody get rid of the fucker and get on with your life, get a life you deserve not one wiaitng around to grab snippets of affection from an absolute twunt who obviously cares so little about your emotional wellbeing.

Why are you still with him? He has no regard for you and doesn't even think of you as a human being. Is this what you want for your children or one year time, five years, 10 years?
Being a single parent would be a massive upgrade for your life.
Get some councelling for yourself and make an escape plan. Be aware he will try and worm his way back but that him chucking you a bone. Do you in the great banquet of life be the person who eats crumbs when they could be eating fillet steak.
There isn't often a consensus on MN but everyone things that your P is a piece of shit.

I've just read your last thread

Your "boyfriend" is an abuser. That's why he does hurtful things like this. He changed a bit to pull you back in when you told him you were considering ending it, because he sensed you were getting a bit of control back. Now that he's pulled you back in, he can do this to you and see you hurt.

He likes hurting you. He is an abuser.

How are the little steps out of the situation going?

He wouldn't be my boyfriend anymore.

And i've read your previous thread too. Please value yourself more than this and don't waste any more time with this man. Life is too, too short.

Oh. You need to leave. I don't post in relationships but I'm at work and have read both your threads. You don't deserve this, nobody deserves to be treated like this. Please follow the advice of the posters who are showing how you can do this, you will be better off without him.

Hi op please check this thread out here as it will show you how much better life is on the other side. Please see for yourself that you deserve better than this.