Long distance relationship finally over

[Shinyshinyface]

I posted in the summer about my LDR here
Not sure if anyone remembers but I had some good advice which I appreciated.
Well, it finally ended today...partly at my instigation, more as a result of my forcing a discussion which could really only end one way, which it did. It's a definite end, there will be no curtain calls.

I've never had to actively end a relationship where we both still loved each other. Does that make sense? We kind of both ended it but really only because I insisted on a discussion today...although things didn't change over a number of months (in other words it didn't get any better but it didn't get any worse) in the last few weeks he was getting more distant and I felt I was having to survive on fewer and fewer crumbs. It couldn't go on that way.

I know it's for the best, I know it had to happen but I feel utterly utterly shit. I've had breakups before and I didn't die as a result, I need to keep reminding myself that I probably won't die this time either.

And I know in comparison to what lots of women have been through/are going through this is nothing. I've been through a marriage breakdown caused by an affair myself so I know. I just can't help wondering why life has to be so shit sometimes? And how to get through the shitness. How to get up tomorrow knowing I won't see him or speak to him again. I don't know how to do that.

Sorry if this is a bit incoherent.

Look after yourself today, take things easy, think about something small that would be a treat, curl up under a blanket and watch a film with some hot chocolate or something. Have you got a RL friend you could invite over later in the week?

Thank you. I might try going out to meet a friend later, bit worried about embarrassing sobbing on the train though!
I was wondering if Rescue Remedy might make me feel a bit calmer. I know how ridiculous I sound.

I've never tried RR but heard good reports about it. Not ridiculous at all, I remember bursting into tears at my DDs nativity play when a woman I hardly knew asked me what I was doing for Xmas (going away with my kids without my H cos we were splitting up after Xmas). I felt very silly but people are either really kind or completely ignore you and either way you're ok once its over - take plenty of tissues, some concealer and waterproof mascara and go - chatting to someone in RL could be a big help right now.

Yep, will take tissues with me for sure if I go and will try and find some RR along the way.

My sleep patterns are completely messed up too. I've had months of waking a couple of times in the night to talk to him (6 hours time difference) and I suspect I may have messed up my sleep for some time to come. before that I always got a good night's sleep no matter what (unless I was really nervous or excited about something).

I used to take Valerina - a natural remedy that helps you sleep - when I needed help a couple of years ago, it was very effective. I think lack of sleep can cause all sorts of stresses and worries just because of the sheer lack of energy after a bad night. Also going for a run in the evening was good (makes me sound fit which I'm really not).

That's a good idea, will try that. Might help prevent middle of the night anguished texting.
Well, looks like I'm not going out today after all...but tomorrow I definitely will be because I'm going to a gig with a friend.
You're right about the exercise though, if I could summon up the effort to do some I know I would feel better.

I've put a very long post in Chat about the problems I'm having in the rest of my life...would be great if anyone popped over to have a look.