I am feeling very confused about my relationship with DH. We have been married for 8 years and have 2 DC's.
My DH is supportive and kind and will do anything for me. Or that is how it looks on the outside, but he is also passive and infuriating.
I just don't know what to do or how to explain how he is. And I wonder how much is me and how much is me being controlling and that maybe we have an awful co dependent relationship that is actually crap?
I don't really know how to explain it, but these are some notes that I wrote earlier
He is passive.
Does not take the initiative or initiate anything.
Does not join in or get excited.
Is a bystander in this relationship simply giving me what I need but not activly participating.
Ignores issues or does not see them.
Does not have plans or dreams, lives day to day but does not seem particularly happy.
He does not actually see a problem and therefore will not engage with a sloution and therefore I am worried that this relationship will slowly die.
I know I am not wonderful either, but right now I am in a house where I am unhappy and living with a husband who knows I am not OK, but is completely ignoring it. I could talk to him as I have in the past and he will listen and say OK, but will not actually engage with what I am saying. I will do the talking he will do the listening, he will say what he thinks I want to hear and nothing will change.
Then things will be OK for a while because we do get on and I do love him and then I will get frustrated again and the whole damn cycle will start again.
I don't know what to do.