i want to leave my life

[marbleshavegone]

I am on my own with 2 difficult and demanding young dcs. Have supportive family and up and down ex p. I have nothing left to give. one of dcs driving me crazy and i do not even want to interact with him. They are seeing a family member soon today and I am thinking of just disappearing today and never coming back. I don't know if i will just drift somewhere or die because i cannot take the guilt. I am abd mum because i love them but am not putting any sunshine in their lives. Am fine when am at work. Am on antisdepessants and had counselling. Nothing has changed. Help

So sorry that you are so sad. You sound very down, I am sure you are not a bad mum. Please stick around I am sure someone will be along soon with some good advice.

2 young children are really difficult and demanding, never mind exhausting. You're not a bad mum, you're just on a real low. This can and will get better. I'd there anyone who can have them overnight for a couple of days to give you a proper break? Can you spend some time with friends, or do things you like to do? You sound at such a low point. Hang in there, be as kind to yourself as you possibly can and ask your friends and family for some help if you can. Let them know you're at crisis point. Hugs..

Hi I agree with mantlejen. I've thought that it would be best for the kids if I left them and had all the time in the world to sort myself out. Then I could come back and everything would be perfect. But I know noone would love my children as much as a mum can. I find it demanding at times esp with shifty oh. But thankfully I have a supportive family who cos they dote on the kids have them alot. The me time to catch up on paperwork, housework etc really helps my sanity. Don't do anything drastic. I bet you you give them the bestest hugs ever and I bet they'd choose you over anyone else even if they think you can be crabby at times. Mine problems think I'm a real cow at times but they always come to me when they're upset. I can sort my life out and become a better person with my kids. Hugs to you.

"I am a bad mum because I love them but am not putting
any sunshine into their lives".
No, that makes you a good mum, but you are having a hard time.

You say you have a supportive family. Use them.
Have a break for yourself and some me time.
We all need that from time to time.
You will then get a new perspective on things.
Then report back here if you need to.

You mustn't think this. Yes, a happy mum is better than an unhappy mum for them but an unhappy mum is 1,000,000 times better than no mum at all (not an exaggeration).

Were you happy say 2, 5, 10 years ago? If so what is to prevent your being happy again 2, 5, 10 years in the future?

thank you.I saw my friend and read your messages and it helped.got thinking to do but not feeling as desperate, thanks again

good.